ANTM, C08E03: Jelinas Reviews the Portfolio - "Ice Cream"
Wow, this photoshoot was even worse than last week's. I think this was the all-time worst photoshoot -- I get the feeling I'm going to be saying that every week from here on out.
As usual, the photos hold the most weight in my rankings, but I'll also be discussing other aspects of the show and contestants as I run down the portfolio.
Not to belabour the point, but -- DIANA IS SO BORING!!! And this picture is no exception. Her face is expressionless and it's like she can't be bothered to suck in her gut. And the way she's holding her leg up looks so awkward.
Look, I understand that it's intimidating to have to bare all in front of all these skinny girls, but if you want us to believe that you can rock your plus size, you have to act like you believe it, too.
She could stand to take some ferocity lessons from Whitney.
On top of everything else, she reminds me of a girl from my high school who really didn't have beef with anyone, but would pretend to hate someone just because she thought the "popular people" hated them. The way Diana's constantly giving ear to Renee's every complaint almost annoys me more than the fact that Renee is such a backstabbing whiner.
GET A SPINE, ALREADY!! HAVE AN OPINION OF YOUR OWN FOR ONCE!!
And don't even get me started on how she suddenly starts to talk all "ghetto" when she's talking to Whitney. Yikes.
Okay, Natasha's pose is decent in this picture and her coloration is actually good with her new hair; I'll give her that. But her face -- dear God, why?? Why is she squinting so?? I just don't get it. And I don't think she does, either.
9. Cassandra (BOOTED)
Cassandra, Cassandra, Cassandra. You've got a great face and legs for days besides. Why do you insist upon wasting all your best features in your pictures?
The judges were actually right about losing her neck in this photo. Anyone who's ever wondered what the heck that means need look no further than this photo for a definition.
To be fair, however, I think that Cassandra was the victim of bad direction yet again. "What you're giving me is like 'ROWR.' I need it more like 'RAWR!'" EH???
But all the other girls are most likely getting the same crappy direction and doing more with it, so --- buh-bye, Cassandra.
I will say, though, that it's to her credit that so many of the girls seemed genuinely sad to see her go. She seems like a nice girl. She makes weird faces, though.
Oddly enough, I actually understood what Tyra meant when she said that Renee's eyes were "almost there" in this pic. It's especially clear when you compare her photo to Sarah's. Sarah's eyes were fierce. Renee's are just vaguely pissed-off.
And I'm not really diggiing her pose here, either. She kinda looks like she's looking for a place to hurl.
And she's still a hypocrite. Her comments to Brittany about having been "nothing but nice" to her? When was she ever nice to anyone? Her whole attitude on this show is more one of "FINE, mortal, I'll tolerate your presence" than one of proactive kindness.
And chiding Brittany for being upset that they were talking about her behind her back? Please. You know she would be ALL up in arms if she overheard any of the other girls talking smack about her.
I agree with the judges that Jael's face looks great in this photo, but I think her pose needs work. Having her leg up like that makes her look chunky-thighed, and we know that girlfriend is skinny!!
I was so annoyed that no one would leave her alone when she was trying to get the news about her friend. It's like, "HELLO, I'm in the PHONE and I'll tell you what happened when I HANG UP." Don't be staring into the glass room (what a cheap reality TV drama-manufacturing trick, btw) while I'm trying to find out what happened to my druggie friend!!
Madd propz to her, though, for supporting Brittany when she was sick. She knew exactly what Renee was up to when she was telling Brittany to consider taking a rest that day. When she told Brittany, "You do what you have to to make it through this and get this done, okay, honey?" I was like, "YOU GO, GIRL!!!"
I actually like Jael; I think she's very down-to-earth and low maint and cool, druggie though she may be. It's too bad that she is so rough or else I might root for her.
I gotta give madd propz to my girl Whitney for rockin' her plus sizedness in this photo. She's emphasizing all the right things and sucking in everything that needs to be sucked in and she looks HOTT in this pic!!
I think she's got a great face and, while the judges might have a point about her looking a little stiff, I still think that girlfriend turned it out in this photo. I think it's the best plus-sized photo in ANTM history.
And, as for her personality, I could appreciate that she confronted Brittany about her crying, but did it with a smile on her face and in a jokey manner to soften the blow so that it wouldn't be too harsh and set her off again. And then she left to prevent the inevitable tension between them from making all the other girls uncomfortable.
And I think it says a lot about her that she was the one that Jael went to for comforting and counsel when she was upset about her friend's death and the impending Panel session. Jael isn't at all pretentious or fake, and it seems that she can sense a kindred spirit in Whitney. I love them both for that.
Why you gotta be so racist, show? Why can't it just be "Caramel?" Why it gotta be "Dulce de Leche?"
Anyway, Jaslene's face looks phenomenal in this pic, but that's nothing new.
Her body, however, is grotesquely skinny. How 'bout promoting a little healthy body image, hmm, show?
Felicia's face is, as usual, stunning in this pic. She's gorgeous! Her pose is okay, but not great, which is why she's not #1.
She must not win, though, because we don't see much of her.
I love Brittany's facial expression here, but I'm ambivalent about her pose. It really is a wonder that her face translates so well on film.
But, man, what a crybaby!! I laughed out loud when she said, "My hand is not going to react well to the ice cream," and Felicia replied, "I don't think anyone's hand is." What kinda crap was that??
I'm all for crying when you need to, even if it's for a stupid reason. But, if it's for a stupid reason, don't demand that a houseful of strangers show you sympathy whenever you decide that you are entitled to it. That's just rude.
Sarah's face is amazing here and her pose is ossom; very high-fashion. Her eyes really are intense. Well-done!
Man, I am loving this pic! Great facial expression, great pose -- Dionne just might come from behind to win this thing!!
What a terrible photoshoot. I may never eat ice cream again.
Hahaha, who am I kidding? I'll probably buy some tonight. But I'll probably eat it while watching Saw or something. You know. So that I don't associate it with this horrible, horrible shoot every time I eat ice cream in the future.
What are your thoughts?