Adding A Second Child to the Mix...

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kiwitwist

Saved 4/17/08 to Over the Rainbow (& the Moon)

Adding A Second Child to the Mix...

Okay, I know this will sound odd but I thought it would make a great coversation piece. I was reading an article on popsugar about Kate Hudson wanting baby #2 but she is no longer with her ex. So, this is when my brain started churning.

Would you ever have another child with your ex, just for the sake of having a child and knowing that both of your children would be from the same mom/father combo? Know what I mean? For example, if Kate H's ex wasn't involved with anyone why would she not have another child with him? It could work with them since they still like one another. Any thoughts? Sorry for the ramble it is early and my brain isn't functioning quite right yet. Oh and I know a lot of us are happily married so just think of this as a hypothetical please.

Saved to

Over the Rainbow (& the Moon)

cheekyredhead 3 years 49 weeks

It took me 6 years to have my first child and then they said I'd never have another. I treated my daughter as a prize and savored everyday--and when she was three I was shocked to learn I was pregnant again. Oddly, my husband that had always said he wanted more kids suddenly didn't--then he told me he never had wanted them but went along with it because it was important to me. I was faced with a second blessing and praying my husband would warm up to the idea. He never did. While I was pregnant I worried that I wouldn't have enough love for two children--because I knew I'd be over-compensating for a bad choice for a husband that didn't want to be a Dad. I worried a lot. My second bundle of joy brought with him a capacity of love I had never known. Now looking back---I have no regrets except perhaps that I trusted a man that said he wanted children. No longer married to him, my kids have a new Dad--a real one. And I find having enough love to go around was a silly thing to wonder about. They are now all teenagers and my life is extremely blessed. I think that although my second wasn't planned---he was and still is a wonderful blessing. I think if a woman wants a child, can support and care for it, then a father would of course be nice but not required. Although I was married for a long time, I was a single parent. He never was involved in our lives. In all our family pictures he looks like some guy that dropped in for the party. He was never the smiling Dad proudly standing by his kids. So even with a Dad there--he really wasn't. I think that can be as damaging as a completely absent father.

laredo 5 years 4 weeks

I know of someone who did this. She wanted a second child and since her ex wasn't involved with anyone else... It turned out just fine and he is quite involved with both children.

Croweshead 5 years 4 weeks

You're probably thinking of when she said she and Chris will always be a family. When she said that just because their romantic relationship no longer works, their family one still can. And that she will always love Chris, he was her first real love... etc. Kate is good at sugarcoating and painting a pretty picture for the media. All celebs do it.

kiwitwist 5 years 4 weeks

Great minds think alike. :-) Yeah there was something I read that made it pop into my head right away. Not sure what part!

lily8206 5 years 4 weeks

It's funny you mention this Kiwi, because when I read the article about Kate wanting more children I actually wondered if she would do just as you're suggesting. It was because of one specific comment she made (I'll see if I can find it). If he's with someone else then it obviously wouldn't work.

ALSW 5 years 4 weeks

It is interesting and I'm sure that some women would certainly consider this. I just wonder why it's important to some people that all their children have the same set of parents regardless of whether or not they're together. I'm not saying that Kate feels this way, but I have occasionally heard stories about this. Personally I think that there are things that are more important to me about my children.

kiwitwist 5 years 4 weeks

Nothing is wrong with it. But this is why I thought it would be a great conversation piece. Everyone has different opinions and views. What I was looking for. :-D

Croweshead 5 years 4 weeks

No way is she going to have another baby with Chris. He is involved with someone again. He brought her to a lot of the BC shows and people even saw her with him in Europe. It's one thing to get along great for Ryder which they do, but to have another child together is quite another. It wouldn't make any sense. What is wrong with children having different fathers. In today's world with divorce rates so high, it's almost becoming the norm.

ALSW 5 years 4 weeks

I honestly think it would just add additional complications that there don't need to be. Is it that important that her sons share the same father?

kiwitwist 5 years 4 weeks

I know, I am stuck like you. There has to be a reason why they got divorced. But at the same time I think I would prefer to have a child with my other child's father, rather than some other man. Toughy! If intimacy is the issue there is always the alternative. :-p

glam sugar 5 years 4 weeks

I wouldn't want an ex to father my child. I'd rather go to a sperm bank. __ “Fashion fades, only style remains the same.” —Coco Chanel

ALSW 5 years 4 weeks

I'm not really sure what I think about it. I am happily married, but I suppose I can see where, if she and her ex still get along so well, they could go ahead and have baby #2. But, it's also a very intimate process (obviously) that can bring about baby #2, so I'm not sure I personally could handle going through that knowing that we weren't together and wouldn't be in the future either. My two cents. :)