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Saved 6/17/10 to Ask Savvy

Am i over reacting??

I want to know what you think about my wedding invitation issue. My boyfriend recently got an invitation from a girl he is friends with and i've met a few times. The invitation was just for my boyfriend. We have been living together for almost two years and she is fully aware of this. I know he is the friend of marrying couple in this situation but i can't help but feel disrespected. Not only by her but by my boyfriend still attending. I feel like her only inviting him that she is openly slighting me and by him going like he is too. I know in these times you can't invite everyone, but we've been together for almost three years, living together for two. There has been no "sorry but its just not possible to have everyone" (eg)  Is this rude and tacky and an obvious slight to me or am i just over reacting??

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sissamarie sissamarie 5 years 42 weeks
WELL SAID OliviaNewton!
OliviaNewton OliviaNewton 5 years 45 weeks
No, I don't think you're overreacting. You're going to feel how you're going to feel, which is slighted. Marital status notwithstanding (come ON Dazzlede-- three years is a substantial partnership. Are you saying that a couple that dated a couple months then rushed into marriage would be more "valid" on the invite list? I call bs on that one). In my single days, I once even brought a female friend as my plus-one to keep me company. The simple truth is that the bride and groom only have so much time and attention to go around, so giving someone the option to bring their better half is best for all involved. If you can't afford to give people this option, it's time to pare down the guest list and make sure nobody feels slighted, especially someone who means a lot to a VIP.
Lakey-Lady Lakey-Lady 5 years 48 weeks
Thanks Ladies!! Your comments helped me see that its not always about me LOL
shannon_xo shannon_xo 5 years 48 weeks
Definitely over-reacting. If you don't know either the Bride or Groom, you can't expect to be invited. Weddings are expensive and one way of keeping the price down is limiting your quest list to only those you know. I agree with DazzleDe, you can't be upset with your boyfriend for celebrating his friends' wedding just because you were not invited. Don't be so over-senstive.
DazzleDe DazzleDe 5 years 48 weeks
Yes, you are overreacting. From your post it doesn't seem like you are friends with either the bride or groom. So how can you be upset because you weren't invited to a wedding where you aren't friends with either of people getting married? I know that you think because you have been dating/living with your boyfriend for 2 years is sufficient to be permanently included in his plus-one list, but dating does not a married couple make. And at the end of the day, you don't know who else was "left off" the list due to a variety of reasons. At the end of the day it's their wedding they can chose to invite or not invite whomever they chose. Also, you can't be upset with your boyfriend for attending a wedding just because you weren't invited. After all, they are his friends and not yours. Don't take it personally. If you were married and left off the invitation, well that may be a different story.
sissamarie sissamarie 5 years 48 weeks
I've been in a similar situation but I happened to be your boyfriend in this case. Most likely he is in a tough spot. Before he made his decision to attend... did he happen to talk to you about how it made you feel? I found it tacky on the couples case and would have rather NOT been invited than to be put into the situation I was with my significant other. It stinks that the bride/groom were unable to include you on their invitation, but unfortunately for you there is little to nothing that can be done. I think that a lot of couples need to keep in mind that there is a much bigger picture when making a decision not to invite a significant other than monetary concerns. Sure, it is great to have all of the people you want to be at your wedding, but sometimes you just have to cut your losses! Having a smaller group and giving them an option to bring a date goes a long way for a lot of people! Sitting at the singles table when you're not or traveling far distances alone becomes burdensome rather than enjoyable! It might help to see if others were invited with a guest who are in similar relationships. The couple might have chosen to nix dates for a mass of people and that could calm your nerves as far as it being personal. In the case that your boyfriend is only one of a handful without a plus one... OUCH...