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Men's Take on Women Having a Baby with a Donor
Saved 4/23/10 to Birth Stories

Baby with sperm donor... mens thoughts?


I am 26 years old and it doesn't look like there is a guy going to be in my life anytime soon. I have never wanted anything more than to be a mom. So my thinking was to possibly use a donor and have a child but it worries me about what could happen in the future with getting in a relationship with someone. I wouldn't think anything different if I had a baby with someone else but I don't know if guys would see me a desperate just because I used a donor instead of having a guy there. So can anyone offer any advice either from a guys perspective or if you have gone through it. Thanks!

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skigurl skigurl 5 years 17 weeks
this is the problem with anonymous posters!!
starbucks2 starbucks2 5 years 17 weeks
Give it time, honey. You'll find the right partner. You're still so young. Especially men in their twenties might not want to date a woman who already has someone else's kid (even if the father is unknown). Being a single mom will make your dating situation that much harder. Also don't deprive yourself of sharing that wonderful experience with a partner. You will need a strong back bone not to feel left out when all the other moms talk about how excited their husbands are about the baby. And it is hard work! I am a young mom who's boyfriend is almost never home because he works crazy hours. It's not just about the nightly feedings and the money but also you don't ever get to do anything on your own! I love my kid but I would love to at least go grocery shopping in peace! And (although I am pretty sure the two above posters are the same person...) you might actually consider adoption... If you do end up going through with it, though, I wish you all the best!
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 5 years 17 weeks
why don't you think about it for a year?
lilkimbo lilkimbo 5 years 17 weeks
I'm with others...26 is way too young to be considering this! I understand your desire to be a mother, but, as Abilew stated, being a parent is hard work. I'm not knocking single mothers at all; all of the ones whom I know work their butts off to be great parents. But, even they admit that it's not the ideal situation. It would be different if you were 36, but why would you want to be a single mother at 26? It just makes no sense to me.
Abilew Abilew 5 years 17 weeks
We all knew before we had kids that "it'll be hard." We heard it all the time - "your life is about to change" blah blah blah! And seriously? It's SUPER hard. It's hard enough with two people. And your life DOES change. I know what it feels like to want that kid so bad - to want to be a mommy. But honestly, you have lifetimes ahead of you before you need to start worrying about that. Sometimes I want to choke my husband - but most of the time, I'm so thankful that I have someone to share the experience of parenthood with. I wouldn't be half the mom without him. I marvel at single moms and dads. These are amazing people and parents - really and truly. I just wouldn't take that challenge on myself if I didn't have to. I would ask yourself what you think in a few years. Like 10 more years. Oh man, a lot can happen before then.
esweet esweet 5 years 17 weeks
I agree with all posters above. I didn't get married until I was 29 and am pregnant with my first now at 31, and wouldn't change the timing for anything. Everyone is different, but I think 26 is VERY young to be considering this option and I also think it would make it much more difficult to meet and date someone. I would say wait another 5-8 years and re-assess. By then you may have met the man of your dreams and already have one or two little ones!
jenni5 jenni5 5 years 17 weeks
I've actually read that some guys are more attracted to single moms because they don't feel they need to worry about the girl rushing them into marriage and kids. So I don't know maybe it would work in your favor? I think at 26 your way too young to be considering this option though.
skigurl skigurl 5 years 17 weeks
at 26 (or even 29-30) i think guys would find it a desperate move. i don't think tons of guys would flock to be your baby daddy, especially considering your child doesn't have a father figure elsewhere in his/her life i could understand if you did it closer to your 40s when your biological clock is ticking, but in your 20s, i think you're seriously limiting your future romantic prospects...think of how hard it is now to find a man...well multiply that a million times when you have a screaming infant on your hip, your body has changed, and you have no time to devote to a courtship... lots of guys want to be a husband and father but i think they might be turned off by the fact that you skipped them in that life plan