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Saved 5/30/11 to Ask Savvy

Bridal Shower: Request for a Monetary Gift

My friend's shower invitation said to "please provide a monetary gift" so that the couple may enjoy their honeymoon.  There was no itinerary to know what their honeymoon will entail or what the monetary gift will exactly go towards.  Aside from it being tacky to send out a blanket invite requesting money (IMHO), how do I determine the appropriate amount to give?  $50 in the country where their honeymoon will take place will go a lot farther than say $50 in New York City.  I read a recent article here on this site about what folks give dor wedding gifts, but what about bridal shower gifts?  Thanks!

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lauren lauren 4 years 52 weeks
@ginamb, that sounds like a great plan! A budget always seems to be the key! Great question btw!
nanashee nanashee 5 years 3 h
I am a Singaporean Chinese, and for us, we get red packets; red envelopes with money or cheques, for our weddings. The idea is that instead of giving presents, you get cash to do whatever you want with; paying for the wedding, the honeymoon, renovations for your new house, that sort of thing. And how much we give depends on the venue of the wedding dinner (usually hotels). There's an unspoken minimum of $100, unless it's a really, um, economical affair, like a buffet in a casual location. Most of the time, the couples "make" money off weddings. The red packets (or ang pows, as we call them) cover the cost of the dinner, and there's usually some extra to cover a little bit of the honeymoon. I used to think it was kinda tacky too, but then the idea of receiving toaster ovens and casseroles seems a little...unnecessary. Maybe it's a culture thing. :)
ginamb ginamb 5 years 8 h
Savvy Bride - Thanks for posting/sharing my question :) Appreciate your feedback, as well as EvieJ's. I need to finalize a budget for how much I can spend on everything for this wedding and go from there. Thanks again for the feedback and advice! :)
EvieJ EvieJ 5 years 19 h
I disagree with Savvy Bride. I think a gift budget is a great idea, but it's my understanding you are only obligated to give one gift, whether it's at a shower or a wedding gift. This keeps things from getting too expensive for guests! (Although, multiple showers should not include the same groups of people, I don't think!) This advice from Savvy is what you need to follow: Rather than being concerned with how far your money will go, I would just try to work within your budget. OP, decide how much you can afford to give and give that amount. I agree it's tacky to ask for money, but if that's what they've requested you can either give it, or give a traditional gift, or give nothing.