How Do You Feel About Being Called Ma'am?

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Saved 9/20/10 to BellaSugar Q and A

How Do You Feel About Being Called Ma'am?

About once a week, when I head to Jamba Juice, the guy behind the counter — without fail — will call me ma'am. While I realize the word, which is derived from the French "madame," is meant to be respectful and friendly, I can't help but feel anything but ancient whenever the words are uttered.

"Miss" is a more youthful term, and the shift from being called "miss" to "ma'am" is a subtle sign that I'm no longer 18. It's not a huge deal, and yet it needles me. How about you? How do you — or would you — feel about being called ma'am?

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AmyD68 24 weeks 3 days

I think it feels terrible to be called Ma'am (or when I was in Paris and sometimes got called Madame) From talking to friends as well it makes us all feel like we look over 30, dowdy unattractive etc. I know some people were raised that it is polite and I am sure that it is meant to be so...but still with so many people feeling badly hearing it I dont understand why people still insist on using it. I dont care if someone is noticably older - I think the only result of pointing that out is to make someone feel bad. If I saw someone heavier and I just casually pointed it out - ok they know they are heavy but maybe they were enjoying their day and didnt feel like thinking about it at that moment

veronicaskyy2 29 weeks 3 days

I have been called maam several times in my life and everytime is stings a little- Im 24. I take good care of myself, but dont feel I look the part of Maam, that being said I am happy there is a blog with posts dedicated to this- I feel better about my hang up about this topic :)

missredmini 1 year 24 weeks

Don't like it. I volunteer at the VA and after my first day I went to the military exchange and had a name tag made that I wear on my ID Badge. It say " My Name Is Not Mame"

kirbyspit 1 year 24 weeks

The issue is the fact that in the U.S. women are valued mainly for their sexual attractiveness, which is correlated with age. An older woman has less societal value because she has less sexual appeal. What we resent is being identified as too old to have sexual appeal; therefore less value as a person. Do you really want to support that? If you don't, you won't care if you're called ma'am.

Elite Lady Cathleen 1 year 30 weeks

For me it depends on who is saying it and the delivery.

greear 1 year 36 weeks

I hate being called ma'am. It doesn't make me feel old, just GENERIC and insignificant. Like talking with a telephone solicitor. Sales clerks, etc., should call an older woman "madame"and a younger woman "miss", if they feel they must say anything at all. I prefer no title at all. Very irritating.

teenysquirrel 1 year 38 weeks

Plus for me to call others 'ma'am, 'miss', 'sir' to others doesn't come to me naturally. Just weird.

teenysquirrel 1 year 38 weeks

I DETEST MA'AM. It does make me feel ancient. Especially since I am not used to it. One time I was waiting in line @ Starbucks, this woman front of me was clearly older than me. The counterperson called her 'ma'am' while he called me 'miss'. So obviously service people are choosing the titles by judging women's ages. Meanwhile men all are 'sirs'. I got to just work on my self esteem and just accept that now I am more of a ma'am than miss. But sucks regardless.

Anjellarok 1 year 47 weeks

Just an expression of courtesy. I say "maam and sir" all the time.

JenniferVL 1 year 48 weeks

I agree on it depends who is saying it. If it is a soldier saying it , its ok because that is how they are suppose to address women. But anyone else saying it will just make me feel old. I'm good with miss or mrs since I am married.

SocialistLez 1 year 51 weeks

I hate it. I'm 20. Feel free to call me that when I'm 40. I know there are more important things to get worked up over so I try not to let this bother me.

lemonfluffable 2 years 3 days

I feel old when someone calls me ma'am. But I don't freak out, and I don't feel like it's a hit to my ego. I just brush it off and go on with life. What annoys me more is being called honey, sweetie, or babe from some random person that I don't even know, such as a waitress or a customer on the phone!

Rosiesedz 2 years 2 weeks

I work at a snack bar at an ice rink and when the kids come up to me and i give them what i want i LOVE when they say ma'am it makes me feel respected and it puts a smile on my face.

Jaime Richards 2 years 6 weeks

Once I stopped getting carded, I almost simultaneously went from being miss to ma'am. Sure, it makes me realize I can't be a young one forever, it's a lot better than "hey you," no doubt!

testadura67 2 years 6 weeks

Geez, it's meant to be polite. Especially in the service industry where your waitor, hostess, cashier, whatever doesn't know your first or last name. When I worked retail, didn't matter if it was a little girl buying a candy bar or an 80 year old women filling her gas tank, she was "ma'am", just like any male who I waited on was "sir". Get over it people.

Jaime Richards 2 years 6 weeks

GummiBears, You are a funny one! ;-)

GummiBears 2 years 6 weeks

Eff it I am vain so I will admit that I get slightly annoyed by it.

0Payton0 2 years 7 weeks

I went to Subway a couple months ago, and I'm 14, and I this lady that was making my sandwich came to the counter she's like 'what would you like today?' so i tell her, and it took me a minute to think of what bread and sandwich i wanted, then when i was telling her what i wanted on the sandwich every other thing she said was 'ma'am' 'is that it ma'am' 'what would you like ma'am' && i HATE when people call me ma'am, i don't care what age, or what job i have, i would rather not have anyone call me miss or ma'am. i just don't like it, but the word ma'am urks me the most.

PNBeauty 2 years 10 weeks

I can't stand it! It begun last year and I don't get it too often but it makes me feel old. I couldn't stop wondering how old they thought I was.

Smashboxchick 2 years 19 weeks

I havent, but if I was called m'am id probably be offended. I am from the midwest, so it's not something we're used to hearing here. In the south, people were raised to say ma'am as a way of being polite. I just think it's something that should be said when someone is older, much older. Otherwise it sounds sarcastic and rude. At least to me.

nailpolishfanatic 2 years 20 weeks

I don't mind it because I think it is meant to be respectful especially in the Southern states like South Carolina. Would you rather be called "hey you"?

Jody76 2 years 22 weeks

It doesn't bother me much, because growing up in Texas, you hear that all the time from respectable Texans. I think it's good, but I do tell them that they don't have to. But it is a sign of respect, that's for sure.

2 years 30 weeks

I myself do not call people "sir" or "ma'am." If I want to be genuinely polite, respectful, and interested in them, I find out their names and what they would like to be called. It can be very respectful and considerate to ask people how they would like to be addressed, and if they prefer to be called "Miss," "Mrs.," "Ms.," "Dr.," or just by their first names. It's also more professional. Besides, I don't treat strangers as if they were my "sir" or "mam," or my grade school teacher. I have one set of parents, and they're the only people I need to address "respectfully." I also think it's rude to assume you have the right to call people any name I want (sir, ma'am, miss, honey, dear, young lady, son), and that they have to put up with it because you think you're being friendly. It's disrespectful and presumptuous to call people names they don't want to be called, like calling someone Mrs. Smith when she's really Ms Smith or Dr. Smith and her husband's name is Mr. Jones.

2 years 30 weeks

I'm 22 and I look like I'm 14. I have been called ma'am since I was 16 and I looked 12. It's not about age at all. It's actually insanely respectful and I love it.

2 years 30 weeks

It depends on where I am. In California, it either means you are older or someone is being condescending. Most Californians do not get that kind of home training. It just isn't very common here. In the South it is really common so I am less annoyed. In the Northeast it is a bit trickier. It is either polite. But can be less so when you are called Miss.