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Saved 1/21/10 to The Mommy Club

Sex While Baby's in the Room?

This post was submitted by an Anonymous member in The Mommy Club.

I need to know if I'm a prude or if my mom friends are less than normal. I recently watched the movie Away We Go with a group of my girlfriends. There's a scene where Maggie Gyllenhaal and her partner divulge their practice of having sex while their child is in the room. I said I could never do that. Some of my friends laughed at my naivety and said they did it regularly. I'd understand if their babies were little but we're talking 3- and 4-year-olds. That seems odd to me. What do you guys think? Am I wrong for thinking that is wrong?

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mommy101 mommy101 3 years 37 weeks
Naw u nt a prude. Honestly I think that messes the child up through person experience. Even at 2...wen u think they are slp thyre nt. The mind ismost curious then and can not properly process what they c or hear on that level. They do soon strt acting that out with wutever they can find. Which eventually leads to new problems. I won't do it in front of my son. I used to til I found him creeping to look at me n his father.pls dnt do it cuz most of the tine it hurts the child in the long run! Cnt c it on tv why b n the room in real life.
renee415 renee415 3 years 49 weeks
Oops sorry about that above comment..that was kinda weird..but umm anyways...3-4 does seem pretty old for this situation but I do not see much of a problem having sex while your child is in the same room so long as they are sleeping...In fact, 81% of women admitted to doing this on occassion:
renee415 renee415 3 years 49 weeks
4 years 6 weeks
Omg 3-4?? No no no that is WAY too old. I have a 2 and a half year old niece and would die if she ever caught me and my husband. Our daughter is 8 month old and she's in the room but that's because her cribs In our room. She's usually asleep ad if she isn't we always make sure she doesn't see anything and honestly. I don't knw how anyone can find it a satisfying experience worring if your babies ok and watching.
AbbyHintz AbbyHintz 4 years 20 weeks
Wow. I am surprised at the responses. I was thinking like @GregS: people lived in one room houses for a long time. I say, as long as the kid is asleep and you can easily throw the covers on, having sex with a 1-3 year old in the room is not a big deal. Most kids that age sleep very soundly.
GregS GregS 4 years 23 weeks
Remember the Puritains? And early colonial and US citizens? One room homes. Everything happened there. They typically had big families, too. Just sayin'.....
agonzalez agonzalez 4 years 23 weeks
3 and 4 is a big No No! I would never do that not even with my 2 year old in the room. A newborn is ok but not after age 1.
cupcakedreams cupcakedreams 4 years 32 weeks
I totally agree with Betty Wayne on her comment. That's totally unappropriate for spouses to be having sex with one another with their 3-4 yr olds in the room... it's just destined for disaster!
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 4 years 32 weeks
Why is it that the anonymous comments are always the wackiest ones? A sleeping infant is fine, but a four year old? Really? When my little one was about 12 months old, I set her on my bed, forgetting I had left my Club Magazine wide open next to my pillow. She was enthralled, and pretty upset when I took it away! I thought I was pushing the limits letting my four-year old see me in my bra and cotton bikini cut panties from time to time, but sex with a four year old in the room is ridiculous. "Mommy, what is that thing, and why is daddy sticking it in you?" Are you serious? Friends don't let friends be bad parents. Get this friend some parenting classes for her birthday.
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 4 years 33 weeks
so do u remember something from then? i have memories from 3 and lots of ppl say 4
amandachalynn amandachalynn 4 years 33 weeks
In neuroanatomy we were taught that children have functioning working memories started in the womb. This is why children can recognize their mother and sometimes fathers voices. Children don't form concrete memories until around age 4. This is when they can also start thinking analytically. It is very rare, if not impossible, for a adult to have memories before the age of 4. They say that when we remember something from childhood, we are actually remembering someone telling us about the event, not the event itself. I still don't feel right getting it on with a 3 year old in the room, and you never know what they will say in preschool, even if they won't remember in 15 years. Sorry to pull the school crap out.
gaylag77 gaylag77 4 years 33 weeks
Personally I would never do it, but I have a co-worker who will have sex with her husband in hotel rooms with their two daughters in the next bed. She just said they are going to have to stop because the 13 year old now knows what sex it. Funny but VERY creppy!
PhillyEagles1 PhillyEagles1 4 years 33 weeks
Snowy - A babies brain is a sponge. They take everything in. I truly believe from my own life and hearing from others that you can remember things back to the age of 1.
4 years 33 weeks
yes, as long as the baby is sleeping
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 4 years 34 weeks
"trust me every little thing leaves an imprint on the mind" why should we trust you, do you have memories from when you were a baby? or what? anyways, it really depends if the kid is asleep or awake. even if they are asleep they could wake up, however if they sleep in their own room and wake up and come walking over, they have more chance of sneaking up on you and seeing something then if you can hear them wake up. i believe that 3 is the youngest a kid could have memories.
kia kia 4 years 34 weeks
oh bother. I really wonder how my hubby and I are going to handle this when the babe is born. we plan to co-sleep, we plan to have sex, we both get a little squeemish of the thought of actually going through with it though.
KrisB KrisB 4 years 34 weeks
Infant ok, but toddler in the room well that's not appropriate.
4 years 34 weeks
haha maybe they were messing with you? i just can't imagine anyone ever actually doing that. 3 and 4 year olds would definitely start talking about what they saw with their teachers/friends/friend's parents... awkward!
4 years 34 weeks
We have coslept with all of our children and still, no chance we'd do it with them in the room. We either find another place or put them to sleep in another room for an hour or two. We also lock the door, our children know to respect privacy. Not that I think it'll scar them for life to walk in and they'll turn into serial killers or anything, I just think privacy is a good thing to teach from early on. Plus, I know I still remember walking in on my parents and every time it comes to mind, I still think "I did NOT need to see that!" *lol* Nudity is something we're pretty open about as well, but sex isn't about nudity. No one's ashamed of their body or disturbed by the images, sex is just something between us, not the whole family.
4 years 34 weeks
We like to actually have a sex life and if we never did it while our kids are awake and possibly int he room, we'd likely never have sex because of the hours my husband and I work and simply how exhausted we are at the end of the day. Most of the time it's while our kids are asleep in their own beds, however we've had sex many times with our babies under age 1 in our room, and our older kids have certainly walked in in the morning while my husband and I are being intimate. It's not like we're swinging form the ceiling fan or anything! We are discrete when we know there's the chance one of our kids could come in and are sure to be quiet and keep covered. Our kids regularly see both of us naked and are not disturbed by the image as we've been very open about bodies and that our bodies are for only showing to ourselves, our family and our doctor. They've been taught that certain things are meant for only in the home, and that we express different types of love with different people and in different situations. My husband and I also regularly sleep naked, so for us it's all a relative situation to the ages and stages of our family. Sure it's not for everyone, but I can't see how it's hurting anyone either.
FrankiLee FrankiLee 4 years 34 weeks
3 or 4 is definitely too old for that! We did it when our daughter was a newborn (and sleeping!). She was in her bassinet at the foot of our bed. But beyond that, I think it's strange!
amandachalynn amandachalynn 4 years 34 weeks
We did with a sleeping infant. My hubby works weird hours, and we take advantage of the time we're together! Bad as it sounds, when he was 2 we would wheel his high chair into the living room and give him a graham cracker while we had a quickie.(our bedroom is right off the living room)
Deidre Deidre 4 years 34 weeks
This is one of the reasons hubs and I have decided not to co-sleep. We'd rather just not have this issue come up.
MissSushi MissSushi 4 years 34 weeks
lol, running. I laughed at that too... My daughter turned 2 in December and she JUST started to try imitating mouth kisses. I think it's safe to say your newborn isn't going to start sexually harrassing the other kids anytime soon..
runningesq runningesq 4 years 34 weeks
Anon @3: ...i would fear of my child going places and repeating acts of what they seen going on between me and his father... You think your newborn would see you having sex and repeating it? When?