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Hot Ginger Caramel Martini
Saved 3/15/10 to The Mommy Club

Do You Spank Your Kid?


Proponents of spanking feel that it's an effective punishment; that occasionally spanking a child- in an otherwise loving home- is a good way to show that there are consequences for misdeeds.
 
Opponents tend to feel that spanking teaches that violence is an effective way to end conflict. Some think spanking is straight-up child abuse.
 
Keep in mind... when I say spanking, I mean a couple firm swats on the backside. Child abuse is NEVER acceptable or excusable. If you have reason to believe that a child you know is being abused, or if you fear your frustration with parenting may turn you into an abuser, PLEASE, contact the proper authorities.
 
Which brings me to my question: how do you ladies feel about this issue? Do you spank your kid?

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DebraGeorge1387496327 DebraGeorge1387496327 38 weeks 6 days
Yes, I spank both children if they are very naughty. For instance, more recently my son Noah backchatting me over his holiday homework I warned him of his incoming spanking if he continued, and he did. When I spank Noah, I take him by the wrist and either take him to his bedroom or to the couch in the livingroom. This was taking place in the kitchen, so I took him to the livingroom. I sat and explained to him why he was getting a spanking and took down his jeans and put him across my lap. I then spanked him to crying point. I stopped and let him sob before picking him up and hugging him.
3 years 39 weeks
I have just recived a spanking. From my self. yes i spank my self at least three times a week. because i always feel they are needed. I first do it with my hand over my pants and underwear. then pull pants down andnspank myself with hair brush till im dark red. then pull the painties down and use the cane 20 times on each cheeck. then i reapeat this about three times. so i remember i have been punished good long and hard. I also have my mom spankme with her old hairbrush every saterday for 30 minutes she stsrt with just undies for 5 minutes then goes straight to bare ass for 25 minutes hard and good. I also have my dad spank me. but hes once a month. he use his belt with me over his lap for a long time. for good sound spanking. So i always know im gonna be punished(:
3 years 39 weeks
I spank my kids once a week so they remember what happens if their naughty. This is how i spank my childeren. i take them to their bedroom. explain clearly why their being spanked. have them pull pants and panties down. have them lay across spank them as according how old they are. more if i feel neccassary. then they are ordered to pull their knickers up. Hug & kisses and then to bed early.
3 years 39 weeks
My dad just spanked me like an hour ago and damn did it hurt. Heres the conversation and how my spanking went: dad: what u doing? me: nothing. dad: cause i need to tlak to you about ur grades. me: uhh why? dad: ur failing, and ur teacher called me and said uv been not doing ur work and sleeping? is this true youbg lady? me: yes daddy its cause... dad: no EXCUSES! U know better and now i have to deal with it. me: im sorry ill get em up. dad: sorry isent good enough and yes u will get em up ir ill be beating ur ass eceryday till u do.! me: ..... dad: Now what do u think ur punishment should be? me: i dontt know grounded for a month? dad: Mmm no. ur getting spanking. me: no daddy please! dad: no this unexceptable and u know that. me: i knoww. dad: well then in that case stand up pull ur pants down and get over my knee. me. ......(pulling pants down) dad. alright come on over u go. me: no.. (bending over) daddy. now im going to give u good 10 spanks with ur painties on then im goin to pull them down and spank ur bare ass for as long as i feel u need. me: daddy... please.. dont? dad: SMACK SMACK ur gonna get ur grades up SMACK SMACK SMACK or ur gonna be punished like this everyday u understand me?SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK! me: Owwww! yes daddy please no more.. dad: i dont thimk uv learned ur lesson so imma keep going. me: (crying) dad: (pulling down under pants and spanks me hard for 10 minutes. alright ur done u can get up and pull ur pants and underwear up. me: (crying) sorry... daddy. dad: good(leaves the room) the end. very painfull
3 years 39 weeks
I dont get spankings anymore from my parents.. I miss it i wish they would spank me instead of grounding. It use to over the knee and bare bottomed by mom. dident hurt much but left my butt red and pink for a day or two. First she'd tell me to go to my room and wait for her so i would and about 2 minutes later she would sit down next to me tell me why im being punished/spanked then make me standup pull my pant down then lay across her lap and she would pull down my panties then lecture me while smacking my butt very hard she would say " I cant belive u did that or something and between each word would be a smack and they got harder and harder i would try to put my hands to block but she would " MOVE UR HAND OR ULL GET ALOT HARDER AND LONGER!" so i moved them and she would spank for about 5 minutes. then pull my painties up give me one more good smack and she would say i love you sweetie and tell me to go to bed early. It hurt bunches. but i miss it iv been naughty and need a spanking? Anyone?
4 years 23 weeks
I know im late but after i was spanked my parents would hug me, which would piss me off, but it as to let me know that is was a disciplinary action and had no affect on their feelings towards me. now granted i got spanked for losing things, but whatever
agonzalez agonzalez 4 years 23 weeks
Im not going to lie I have spanked my children before. People often say it's not good because they can grow to be rebellious or worse. I dont do it out of anger, but if I have to repeat myself, or if they get themselves in danger I do. My six year old ignores me alot and I feel like Im saying the words " Jay, stop it!" 800 times a day and that's when I do give him a spanking. I think it depends on who you are, people each choose how to raise their kids. In my opinion I think it's ok as long as you have a good reason to, and as long as it's not out of anger.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 4 years 23 weeks
Hmmm... maybe strong-willed kids get spanked more, then grow up to be strong-willed adults who like rough, risky sex.
GregS GregS 4 years 24 weeks
@PDeverit - For those not able to look at the key indicators of the sexual deviance listed in the article, here they are... *Verbally and physically coercing a dating partner to have sex. *Risky sex such as premarital sex without a condom. *Masochistic sex such as being aroused by being spanked when having sex. The first one is never cool, but based on spanking or corporal punishment? Usually they're low self-esteem guys who could never get a girl on their wits and personality alone. You don't need to be spanked or have corporal punishment to get into that position. But I may say that if one were excessively punished, sure. I could buy it. Risky sex such as without condoms? Really? Show of hands how many of us have done that? I thought so. All of you are corporally punished as a child? Didn't think so. Masochistic sex. A prevalance maybe, but some people come to pain on their own as part of sex play. As far as I'm concerned, whatever floats your boat. Not my bag, but I don't have to play along. Personally, I think a lot of these issues can be manifested from neglect or abandonment, or non-violent dominance by a parent/guardian. Like most things in life, there are more than one reason why things happen the way they do. If the corporal punishment is done more to vent frustration on the part of the parent, then there will probably be more of this deviant behavior later. If the punishment is done rarely and as a teaching point with a talk and cuddling after, probably not so much of an issue. And remember. What is "deviant"? It's something that is outside the norm of the environment of the subject. In a prison, the deviants are not the criminals. It's the guards.
GregS GregS 4 years 24 weeks
I got spanked as a kid and I'm OK, too. I only eat kids instead of beating them. No, but seriously... I used spanking as a last resort and only when conditions were appropriate. Like if he kept running into the road without looking, I'd yak at him, guide and direct. But at some point the issue has to be driven home. I figure that it's better my open hand once or twice on the butt is better than a car bumper at 30 mph, or the potential injury to a friend if he's poking with something sharp. All in all, I think he got spanked maybe 10-15 times in his life? If that? Mostly I found that time outs worked.
PDeverit PDeverit 4 years 24 weeks
Response for Betty Wayne: Actually there have been studies on the sexual consequences, the most recent of them from the University of New Hampshire: Spanking Kids Increases Risk of Sexual Problems as Adults, New Research Shows By Murray Straus, University of New Hampshire, February 28, 2008 http://www.nospank.net/straus14.htm
4 years 24 weeks
There are some kids in this world who really deserve to be spanked, but those generally tend to be the kids who have gone far too long without any discipline, whose parents are far too lenient. I see children like that all the time these days, and I think it's directly related to the fact that parents are scared to discipline their children these days. If you child does something wrong, you don't have to beat them up, knock them around, whip them sore... just a small spank to associate doing something wrong with a discipline they will remember for a much longer time than a talk. I know that when I was a bratty child, my parents could talk to me until they were blue in the face, but as soon as my mom got the wooden spoon out or if my father got one of his belts (even as a threat), I would listen immediately. Did it have any long-lasting effects? Not at all! I learned my lesson from it. If you're disciplining your child with spanking and it's NOT sending them a message, then you can't keep doing it... My point is that it should very very rarely get to the point where spanking is needed. Once a week is too much, once a month is pushing it... your child should listen and behave on the threat of spanking alone.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 4 years 25 weeks
Once or twice a week at most, ever. It's been about three weeks since the last time. I guess it's hard to say where exactly abuse begins.
Lyv Lyv 4 years 26 weeks
"I got spanked and turned out okay" is so not an argument. People suffer all kinds of crime and serious abuse and turn out "okay", doesn't make the acts any less wrong/illegal. Betty Wayne... if you don't think exposing a child in order to physically punish them - in public! - constitutes abuse... that only goes to show how spanking can mess with people's heads. Oh and spanking a child once or twice per week is not exactly "rarely" either, by the way.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 4 years 26 weeks
Child buttock battering? So that's what they call it now-a-days. I spank my girl, but rarely. First she gets a warning, then time-out. Supernanny says to put your kid in a chair and set your timer one minute for each year of age; I give my 4 1/2 year old 5 minutes. I add another minute each time she talks back or yells. If she gets up to 15 minutes, she gets one firm swat on the bottom. This only happens once or twice per week, if at all. I got spanked when I was young, and I turned out okay, but I think my mom took it farther than she should have. With both my brother and me, she would pull our pants down- in a store once!- and smack us as much as 10 times. I don't think that's ABUSE, but it was excessive. After age 5 or 6, I think a parent really has to have a new discipline system in place. Also, I think it's important to balance punishment with reward; they can be equal but punishment should NEVER outweigh reward, even if that means overindulging a disobedient child for mundane accomplishments. Anon 7 every child is different and I agree; some are just more strong willed than others, and some parents are less patient than others. I don't know if I buy that erogenous zone argument. I mean, nearly any part of the body can be an erogenous zone if properly handled. I would be interested in seeing the results of a study showing what exactly the negative sexual consequences of spanking are. PDeverit I didn't know that about the Convention on the Rights of the Child... how interesting... I'll have to read more about it.
PDeverit PDeverit 4 years 26 weeks
People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18. For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can use the resources I've posted if they want to learn more. Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE: Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit. Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit. I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do. There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals: Plain Talk About Spanking by Jordan Riak, The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children by Tom Johnson, NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D. Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net. Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea: American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, American Psychological Association, Center For Effective Discipline, Churches' Network For Non-Violence, Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps, Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children, United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
cupcakedreams cupcakedreams 4 years 26 weeks
I was spanked as a child when i did something bad. it was part of our culture that when we did something bad, we were either hit by a spoon, shoe, or belt.. not too hard or anything, but that clearly sent the message to myself to NOT be bad..lol I turned out to be a great child.. even though i still had an attitude growing up, i graduated high school and college with honors and work in a great field... now as for me and my child.. she has not given me the reason to spank nor would i want to. instead she gets the eyes and i think that's enough intimidation.. lol
SugarKat SugarKat 4 years 26 weeks
I think it's ok to spank a child in an extreme situation. I think it does send the wrong message, but it is sometimes the ONLY way to get through to a child. When I was young, I didn't have to be spanked, but my brother did.
danakscully64 danakscully64 4 years 26 weeks
I picked Other... no kids yet and I don't know what the answer will be until I'm in the situation. It really depends on the kid too. I think spanking can be used to discipline, but not very often.
POPSUGAR-Moms POPSUGAR-Moms 4 years 26 weeks
Anonymous — this is not a LilSugar editorial post. It's a Lil Community post by user Betty Wayne.
kt7691 kt7691 4 years 26 weeks
I was not spanked as a child and I will NEVER spank my children. I think my father put it best when he said "You don't hit people who are smaller than you to get them to do what you want". If they are doing something dangerous, firmly remove them and give them a strong talking to. Violence is not the answer.
4 years 26 weeks
The honest truth is that every child is different. Some will only respond to a spanking when used as a form of discipline and others are more likely to respond to simply saying "no", or giving them a good talking to. You have to get to know your child before you can figure out what's appropriate. And no, a swat on the bottom when I was growing up did not do anything to me other than let me know that I had crossed a very serious line.
starbucks2 starbucks2 4 years 26 weeks
I was never spanked as a kid and I turned out okay. I think spanking is disrespectful to anyone, that includes kids. I spank my dog!
4 years 26 weeks
To Noveline: I think what Lil was stressing is that this is not about child abuse. I'm very sorry for the journey your life has taken you on, and it sounds as if you are on the way to recovering from your childhood. That being said: I'm with the first 2 posters on this. No, I wouldn't "spank" spank my child, but a swat on the bottom? Ok. I have a very inquisitive 2-year old who is constantly going after things she should not and what I do now is a tap on the hand - not a slap, but a tap with "NO NO" being said at the same time. This is for things like touching a hot oven (after repeated "hot hot hot, don't touch" doesn't work), pulling on electric cords (see failed oven technique) and similar. It might progress to a quick pop on the bottom, but not a spanking. I was spanked as a child, and turned out ok - I'm not a mass murderer, a drug user, a child abuser, etc., and am a relatively happy, successful person, so I think an occasional spank is ok. BUT - to each their own, and what works for me might be anathema to others!
4 years 26 weeks
Child abuse is one of my chilhood experience.. Well I realize now that my parents didn't do it on purpose, they just simply follow their parents.. But, it has tremendous effect in my life. It stay as a burden untill I grow up. From early chilhood, I developed some thinking that i don't deserve to be loved... that i'm not good enough... that my parents will only love me if I do right and great things in their eyes... Later on, I developed lack of self confidence in my adolesence, have few friends, and ... well, such a great marks and grades in my schoollife. But when I enter my job, I keep on failing and failing to do great things... wonder why that happens.... Than I found out it because I have a burden i've always carry... Right after I release the pain and hatred for my childhood experience, I can go on with my life succesfully... And I promise.. to my self... not to spank my child (I still don't have one yet...) in the future... coz it will bring harms to them in their entire life