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Hot Ginger Caramel Martini
Saved 8/21/07 to The Mommy Club

Does your child need privacy?


I love the ParentCenter website and I found this on there and found it to be very informational.

Kristi Alexander, clinical psychologist says:

Surprising as it may seem, even preschoolers need privacy sometimes. For instance, your child may express a desire to use the toilet, dress or undress herself, look at books in her room, or play with a friend away from your watchful eye. While you may find these requests funny, don't laugh. Instead, show a healthy respect for her wishes, just as you'll expect her to honor your requests for privacy when she's old enough to understand that you have similar needs.

It's important, even at this early age, to teach your preschooler that she can create boundaries around her body, and that exercising a right to privacy is a natural part of growing up. She's also within her rights to reject a hug (even from Grandma) or other physical display of affection if she chooses. She should also know by now, for instance, that nobody should touch her genitals aside from herself, and you, your partner, and her preschool teacher or daycare provider during toileting or bathing. Around age 5, kids will start to understand the concept of "good touch vs. bad touch."

You'll also want to make clear to her that masturbation is a private activity that she can do in the privacy of her bedroom or the bathroom. Above all, take comfort in the fact that by telling you she wants to be by herself, your preschooler is showing healthy signs of her increasing independence.

Respecting her boundaries, though, doesn't mean she has carte blanche over her world. You'll want to continue to set limits to show that while you understand her need for privacy, you still need to do your job of protecting her from harm. When your preschooler requests that you leave her alone to play with a pal, for instance, respond matter-of-factly with your ground rules: "I can see you two want to play alone right now, so I'll be in the living room, and I won't come in while you're playing your game. But we need to keep the door open." Keeping the door open allows you to supervise from afar — in case they start climbing up the bookcase, for instance. Then let her have her alone time with her friend within earshot, and enjoy your own few minutes to read the paper or flip through a magazine before the two of them come barreling out to see what you're doing.

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jordansmommy jordansmommy 7 years 3 weeks
THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT I HAVE READ ON PRESCHOOLERS IN A LONG TIME. MY SON WILL START PRESCHOOL AT THE END OF SEPTEMBER AND I LET HIM PLAY IN HIS ROOM WITH THE DOOR CLOSED IF HE IS ALONE OR NOT ALONE IT DOESNT MATTER. I ALSO LET HIM TAKE A BATH ON HIS OWN I WILL CHECK ON HIM AND MAKE HIM LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN BUT LET HIM DO WHAT HE WANTS. MY SON IS NOW 4 AND I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE HE WAS ALMOST 3. MY SON HAS MORE RESPECT FOR ME NOW THAT I AM LETTING HIM DO THINGS ON HIS OWN. I WILL LET HIM CHOSE WHAT HE WANTS FOR HIS SNACKS AND LET HIM GET THEM HIS SELF TOO AND THAT IS SOMETHING THAT HE ENJOYS DOING.
wynter wynter 7 years 4 weeks
Apparently not...they are always with me! lol I sometimes wish they'd need privacy, because I do! ;)
bluesuze bluesuze 7 years 4 weeks
Great article. thanks!
vmruby vmruby 7 years 4 weeks
Yes she does.......I have been teaching her about the importance of privacy for herself and for adults.She will ask for it when she is either getting dressed or going to the bathroom and i have always encouraged that.I am happy to see that i am going about it the right way.Thanks for posting this !!!!