The Pregnancy Posse
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The Power of Birth Affirmations
Saved 2/01/10 to The Pregnancy Posse

The Don'ts of Visiting a New Baby in the Hospital

The first few days after a baby's birth are like living in a bubble so hospital visitors shouldn't burst it. Doting mothers stare at their new bundles of joy in awe and focus on if and when their babies are eating, sleeping and pooping. The following is a list of off-limit topics and behaviors for those heading to the maternity ward.

  • Don't snap mad photos without permission — especially if the mama has a visible catheter bag or stained sheets.
  • Don't stare or ask to touch her brand-new Dolly Parton boobs. News flash: engorged breasts hurt!
  • Don't ask if she had her tubes tied or if her hubby is getting a vasectomy.
  • Don't discuss the family's carbon footprint.
  • Don't ask if there's any way the baby's conehead can be molded.
  • No matter how big the baby's head is, don't speculate about the size of her pelvis or hips.
  • Don't refer to the child as having "elf ears."
  • Don't attribute every baby smile to gas.
  • Don't mention that you think today's parents don't have a clue.
  • Don't ask when they are going to try for another one!
  • Don't question if the husband is really the father since the baby looks nothing like him!
  • Don't try to persuade the parents to change the baby's name by coming up with all the awful nicknames you think the child faces.
  • Don't talk about everything that is wrong with the world.
  • Unless she offers, don't ask the degree of her tear.
  • Don't exclaim, "Oh, I love your mom pooch!" It's not like she can speed up a contracting uterus.

Add your additions to this list below!

Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 6 years 15 weeks
The picture thing especially! My mother snapped about 10000000000 terrible photos of me 20 minutes after baby was born, my hair was a mess and I hadn't washed my face or brushed my teeth. Now I get to remember, "Wow, I really looked like hell that day!"
Advah Advah 6 years 16 weeks
Agreed about the cold thing, don't go visit a baby if you're coming down with a cold!
MissSushi MissSushi 6 years 16 weeks
lol, yeah.. sorry i got several of these comments while i was in the hospital. Most often we got the is he really the father comments. People think its funny, but what you're really asking me is if I not only violated my marriage by cheating on my husband, but i'm having someone elses child and lying to my husband by saying its his.. Uh.. yeah. what should i say to that? why yes, it's actually my coworkers kid, but shh don't tell my husband.. jeez
carolynz carolynz 6 years 16 weeks
As someone who was told less than 36 hrs after giving birth that I still looked pregnant by an in-law, I think that this list should be printed out and hung in hospitals and shouldn't just apply to while a mom and baby are in the hospital, but for the 6 week post-partum period at a minimum.
FrankiLee FrankiLee 6 years 16 weeks
Yeah, I think I'm clever enough to figure out on my own to not comment on a child's "elf ears." Unfortunately though, I have had some of these things said to me while I was in the hospital and after I had gotten out. Some people truly don't think about what is coming out of their mouths!
runningesq runningesq 6 years 16 weeks
I really really really hope people don't need to be told not to touch boobs ! Yeesh !