Driving me Crazy
I come from a traditional family where women get married before 25. I am 28 and just broke off a promissing engagement. everyone used to think I'll live happily ever after. I am my mom's only child and her one and only dream for me is to have a husband and childeren.
She used to even cry for my being single before I met my ex fiance, and I was only 25 back then!
All she can talk about right now is how I'm going to be unhappy and miserable for the rest of my life.
I should mention that she is having a health problem, the kind that must be attended by a relative always. it is kind of a mental- health problem where she get fobiac at nights and passes out or her blood pressure races really high.
I can't trust her with a nurse and her health advisors think that she is best and more comfortable with me. AND I AM NOT GOING TO DENY THE WOMAN WHO RAISED ME AND GAVE ME LOVE THE CARE SHE NEEDS JUST BECAUSE SHE NAGGS TO ME!
another problem, I am a self employer. i.e: I work at home. I have tried to work in different places but I can't afford to rent a studio or have my own place. so I am home every hour every day and it does not help with my mom's constant nagging!
I am really, really tired. now that she knows I suffer from the break up she has tuned down the nagging, but still, she says what she has to say! If it were up to me, I would stay single for a LONG, LONG time. but this is driving me nuts. and I do feel sorry for her. I don't want her to be deprived from her one and only wish. she says I always fear for you, fear that I die and you stay alone and single! and no matter how much I reason her, tell her that I am happy and content and I have so many friends, it does not work with her. she says having a husband is much different than having a friend or career!
Obviously I cannot change her whole perspective and idea. she has lived with it for almost 50 years. and I just hate to fail again. I hate to meet the wrong man and fail in being truly happy just because I have to be with someone. I want to remove this high pressure, this stress, that it is getting late. Sometimes I wish I lived alone and really did not have parents and could be as I want, a free person...
I love my mom, but she is driving me crazy.