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Saved 11/23/09 to Body Shoppe

Get Him/Her To Call You


Believe it or not, there was a time when women used to "sit by the phone and wait for a guy to call." That was a bummer. Now we live in a hyper-communicative fog of tweets and texts. Which is great, right? Your guy can always reach you — by writing to you. The downside: he can always reach you by writing to you.


And that can be a bummer, too, at least sometimes. What happened to the good old-fashioned phone call, where you hear each other's voices, laugh a little, maybe even exchange a little R-rated whisper? Here's how to get your guy to be just a little more old-school ... now and then.


1. Be Direct
Men don't pick up on subtleties like women do, says Dr. Jenn Berman, licensed therapist and relationship expert. If you say to your best friend, "You always text me so much and I get confused with all the messages," she'll probably get the point and slow down on the texting. With a guy, says Dr. Berman, you actually have to tell him what you want.

"Don't make a man decipher your communication style," she says. "He's probably treating you the same way he treated his last five girlfriends." Just come out with it — but keep in mind the difference between assertive and aggressive. (In case you're wondering, aggressive is "Call me, you jerk!" Assertive is "I'd love if you could call me.")

It helps to be specific, too. Next time you're making plans for the evening, say something like, "Hey, it's cool if you send me the address by text, but could you call me later about the other details?"

Lastly, sometimes you have to put yourself out there to get back what you want, advises Howard J. Morris, co-author of Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid. "You can make the call yourself," he says. "If he still texts you back instead of returning your call, that's lame. And you can tell him that!"


2. Give Positive Encouragement
For a man, a phone call can be surprisingly daunting, especially considering all his other options. Explains Morris: "Facebook is practically anonymous because the woman can ignore a guy and it doesn't get awkward. Email is safe because she probably doesn't respond to her messages right away anyway. Texting is just something you do on auto-pilot. These days, 'calling' is practically a commitment. I mean, she might actually pick up the phone!"

So when your guy gives you a ring, don't be afraid to gush a little. Go ahead, sound excited to hear from him. "We train people how to treat us," Dr. Berman says. "If you want more phone calls, you have to let your guy hear in your voice and your words how happy you are that he dialed your number."


3. Make the Call Super Easy
You know what he also dreads? Getting roped into some endless, rambling conversation. (Admit it — you dread that too!) So just don't let it happen. Here are a few ideas for painless phone calls: Keep the call to less than 10 minutes. Set a timer if you need to. Hey, never a bad thing to leave him wanting more. If your guy actually wants to have a longer convo but you know you'll have to jet, tell him ahead of time, "Hey, I have five minutes before my meeting starts" (or whatever). That way, he won't feel brushed off. Finally, cut him some slack if he says something silly. The main reason men love email and texting is because they can read over what they're going to say, says Morris. So if he's not as clever or charming on the phone as usual, just chalk it up to male insecurities and go easy on him.


What mode of communication do you use the most?

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Which dress colour? Anyone getting problems with YouTube?? Sweet Message To You All Picture Game - Part II Picture Game - Part I Layout Makeup Tip Needed!
saynogirl saynogirl 6 years 25 weeks
Welcome sweety!! Big :kiss: :hug:
D-Lee D-Lee 6 years 25 weeks
Thnx Sayno! So true. :hug:
saynogirl saynogirl 6 years 25 weeks
D-Lee!! Love at first sight exists! For me it's real because I passes through it and we are still on the same road... arguments and problems happen but you can't sacrifice the good times for the bad times! And it's like the "click" at first sight where you know he is the right one for you!
Iveenia Iveenia 6 years 26 weeks
NO, D-Lee - you are perfectly FACT-ORIENTED - it made this BANG when meeting my future ex-husband but - it went into pieces - he was drinking... however - that man i met - he is not drinking - he is not smoking and he is respecting me - that and main thing - regarding spirituality - were my MUSTS he is fulfilling all this :) so - God is listening to you - why not write a wishing list? and keep all in positive - i.e. no: no, never, not :)
D-Lee D-Lee 6 years 26 weeks
I agree. I'm waiting for that 'one look', but I'm NOT looking. I don't want to 'settle' for just anyone. I want a soulmate someone I can feel instantly it's him. I want 'love at first sight'. Do you think it's real? Am I being corny? :shrug:
saynogirl saynogirl 6 years 26 weeks
well sometimes when you tell them this, they realize your importance in their life ;-) they usually say this to hurt you but now is the girls' time! :D I agree abt the yin and yang thing... well you'll know if he's the right one by just one look!
Iveenia Iveenia 6 years 26 weeks
my opinion is an OLD German saying: boys are like air to me - i.e. (invisible) but i need air to breathe ;) i admit - i need the other half - the YANG to my YIN and this guy is taking my breath away - where we are back at the beginning ;)
D-Lee D-Lee 6 years 26 weeks
Arguing with your men? That's sad. That's why i don't have a man. Just go out with the gurls and have fun! No fuss no muss. ;)
Iveenia Iveenia 6 years 26 weeks
wow tough - but good :) i told mine off - a week ago - badly and he told me - he cannot do without me :) - good - they need to hunt - ;)
saynogirl saynogirl 6 years 26 weeks
what a bad time for such a poll! he just called me and argued abt something and I cut it off! Well am waiting for his call ;-) I know he'll call me any minute :D
Iveenia Iveenia 6 years 26 weeks
he calls me when he misses me :) he texts me and ims me ;) :)