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Saved 12/30/08 to Group Therapy

Group Therapy: I'm Having New Year's Blahs


I am not looking forward to New Year's Eve this year. I broke up with my boyfriend of five years this fall and New Year's was the one holiday we went all out on. Sometimes we'd spend it with friends, sometimes with his family, and sometimes alone. Either way, it was always a big deal.

Help me cope. I have no plans and none are on the horizon unless I go out alone, which isn't going to happen. Although we have been broken up for several months, I'm still having a very hard time moving on, and the holidays have been extremely tough. I'm ready for the new year, but I'm afraid my NYE will be spent feeling sad and emotional; not how I want to ring in 2009. Do you have any advice?

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ilanac13 ilanac13 5 years 38 weeks
i think that we sometimes put too much importance on NYE - and that's kind of where you're tripping yourself up. if you just think about it as just another day, then you'll start to put things into perspective. just think about how you're going to be entering another year in your life and things are going to be different, but that different isn't necessarily bad. it's hard when you've been with someone for so long, but don't lose focus on how there are many good years ahead and you and your girlfriends could make tonight a NYE to remember
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 5 years 38 weeks
cubadog, that sounds suberb! there are lots of good ideas here. hopefully you can at least meet up with a friend or family member or two. after a break up i find its nice to just be around people and be reminded of three facts: that your break up is not the most important thing going on (focus on your friends' lives), people in ltr's have their own stresses, and life goes on! keep in mind that after midnight you will feel relieved that its over! i hope that you will find the love of your life next year!
cubadog cubadog 5 years 38 weeks
My most memeorable NYE have always been with my fabulous girlfriends we cook ourselves a fabulous dinner and drink a ton of champagen and just laugh!
campgirl84 campgirl84 5 years 38 weeks
My boyfriend of 3.5 yrs and I broke up in August. More than that though, this is the first NYE in 5 yrs that I've been single. My remedy for the "blah's"? Getting together with my other single friends! I'm not sure if we're hitting the bar scene or staying in, but I think it'll help to have friends in a similar situation surrounding me. Think positive. You and your happiness come first! Have fun!
DivaDivine DivaDivine 5 years 38 weeks
I feel for you. I too am single for NYE and am looking forward to spending it (semi) alone. The early part of the evening, I'll visit my grandparents and bring over dessert. After that, I've got a mini bottle of Moet & Chandon ($15!) and a Curb Your Enthusiasm marathon to look forward to. No moping allowed!
Simone-Grant Simone-Grant 5 years 38 weeks
I completely agree with starange182. One of the best ways to take your mind of your troubles is to think about someone else, or something else. I strongly suggest volunteering or spending time with friend or family member. Right now you are completely absorbed in your sorrow, which is a hard place to be. Get your mind off of it for the night.
MissJules5x MissJules5x 5 years 38 weeks
theres no reason why this NYE can't live up to the same expectations you had when you were together. get a bunch of friends together and do something big. have a nice fancy dinner, have a house party, or go to a bar or club with people you care about that you have a good time with. theres no need to sit at home and dwell on a relationship that ended months ago. i'm sure he's going to be out having a good time and celebrating so why shouldn't you? NYE is clearly something you anticipate and go all out for, so keep with that tradition, and you may even have a better time than you've previously had while you were with your ex.
dannyboy24 dannyboy24 5 years 38 weeks
Well I guess you can spend New Years Eve with family and friends to help take your mind away. As suggestions from others are also great as well.
starangel82 starangel82 5 years 38 weeks
All of these are great ideas. Get out of town, volunteer, call up your family or friends, crafts... find something to keep your mind off things. So what if you aren't out on the town? I'll be sitting at home with my cat and two of my closest friends. We'll be watching movies and going through a bottle or two of wine. And it's always a fun time. Just get your mind away from your ex and let yourself have a good time. I bet you'll feel so much better if you do. Good luck.
juicebox07 juicebox07 5 years 38 weeks
I know exactly how you're feeling. My boyfriend broke up with me at the very beginning of December, and New Years would have been our two year anniversary. =[ It's going to be really hard spending it without him, but I have to try. To make matters worse, my family isn't throwing a party like they usually do so my mind won't be as occupied. I'm still going to spend time with a few family members and maybe I'll have a good time. Don't dwell on it too much. New Years is just another day basically and it will be gone before you know it.
karlotta karlotta 5 years 38 weeks
Decide on an artistic project, and put everything you've got into it for the next 48 hours. Photography, painting, sculpture... etc. I was a bit down last weekend, and my Dad has some sheets of copper and tons of tools in his basement. So I spent a couple of days doing metal work and it was very therapeutic - and when you come out of it, you definitely have something to show for it! Another thing you could do is volunteer. Why don't you go spend the evening with people in need: soup kitchens, hospitals with sick kids, elderly homes... etc. You will be giving and feeling pretty terrific by the end of it all.
gooniette gooniette 5 years 38 weeks
I spent a New Year's Eve once cleaning out my closets and getting rid of all the things that weren't working for me. It was a bit lonely, but therapeutic and refreshing at the same time. It sounds like you are looking for a way to move on. Maybe you should make this New Year's about that instead of focusing on the past.
Janine22 Janine22 5 years 38 weeks
Spend time with friends or close family members. Don't be afraid to phone them up and ask what they are doing, chances are good they will invite you along with them. I think it would be good if you got out of the house. Try to look at it just as another night out, to have fun. Don't allow yourself to get sad and emotional, and focus on having fun and laughing. Also, don't get too drunk because then you might drunk cry. Good luck and just relax and have fun.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 5 years 38 weeks
I am sorry for what you are going through. I'm sure that NYE is going to be hard, but I am confident that you will get through it. Not sure why your only option is going out alone. If you don't have friends, that's probably one of the main reasons you are still sad about this guy. We all need distraction to get over someone. Make it a New Year's resolution to sign up for a class or something to get yourself back out there. Good luck.
luisamapacha luisamapacha 5 years 38 weeks
Hope on a plane and go visit a friend in another city. You need to get out of town!
PinkNC PinkNC 5 years 38 weeks
You said you broke up with him and that he’s still going out for New Years with friends. Obviously he’s not as broken up as you claim him too be. Look, maybe he is hurt but he knows what is meant by ‘moving on’. You need to do the same also. Go out with your friends for New Years and enjoy the evening. Why sit around your home feeling the unneeded drama in your life, thinking over and over again about your breakup, again, one that you caused. It’s over, you ended it, now find happiness again starting with YOU. Later on you will find someone that appreciates you for who you are. Again, go out and enjoy yourself for New Years just like he’s doing without you.