Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me?
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Saved 3/27/10 to Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me?

Hands Off! This is MY Belly.


A pregnant belly must be a weirdo magnet. Strangers who otherwise would have ignored you completely suddenly feel compelled to grab your belly. Why is it okay to be groped by people you don't even know?
 
When pregnant, my husband and I went into Nordstroms and suddenly a man appeared out of nowhere, fell to his knees and put his head on my belly. Astonished and in shock I stood there afraid to move. My husband asked me if I knew the guy and I shook my head NO.
 
"Get off my wife!" my husband demanded. The guy seemed to finally realize how inappropriate he was and immediately got up and took off. I felt like I needed to go home and shower.
 
 Why is it that people, strangers, seem to think that it is okay to grope a pregnant woman's belly? It happens in elevators, grocery stores, and public places everywhere. People at church even seemed to think it was perfectly okay to take liberties with my belly.
 
 Seriously....I don't get it. I can't be the only women this has happened to.

dianafrost dianafrost 3 years 24 weeks
If they are strangers I can see that being weird but your team mate !! give me a break what is the harm ???
Caritopm Caritopm 3 years 30 weeks
Well, I don't know how to tell a teammate of mine to stop touching my belly everytime I walk near her desk! I don't know how to avoid being rude. It's like she NEEDS to touch my belly while we talk =S. Does she know she's actually touching my uterus?!? Would she touch my belly if I were not pregnant? Gosh!! Another thing that bothers me is that people ask me if I'm OK, every 5 min!! Come on! I'm just pregnant, I'm not dying!
Lenay Lenay 4 years 8 weeks
People do some really strange things around pregnant women and newborns. Evidently, neither group is supposed to have the same rights as everyone else. I stopped going to church during my last trimester because people just refused to keep their hands to themselves. Any protests that I made were treated as a joke. Then, when I was grocery shopping with a neighbor who gave birth a few months before me, we were standing in the check-out line with her newborn lying in a carrier in her shopping cart. I was in front of her in line unloading my cart onto the conveyor belt, and she was looking at a magazine when a stranger just walked up, picked up her baby and started to walk away! When I yelled at him, he turned around and laughed as he set the child back in the carrier. Then he chastised my neighbor for not paying closer attention!
wildsngrny wildsngrny 4 years 22 weeks
I would (half-jokingly) warn people with, "I will break your fingers." Naturally, I wouldn't (and couldn't, that's ridiculous, and I'm not that violent and/or strong), but the sheer shock value seemed to remind people of the inappropriate gesture. I am a teacher, and I actually did have one or 2 students (high school) who asked, and were allowed) to touch, but even my friends didn't touch without asking.
MissSushi MissSushi 4 years 23 weeks
I don't think most people mean any harm by it, they just don't have impulse control when it comes to newborns and pregnant bellies. I am INCREDIBLY hands off, i don't even like hugging extended family, im that ridiculous. I don't like kids touching, just because I have a 2 year old and I know the kind of nasty things she manages despite constant vigilance. My husband came out of the bathroom with her traumatized yesterday during a 11 hour road trip because she pulled out of his hand and ran over to pick up the urinal cake.... vomit. Anyway, since we've had our son, I've had about 5 or 6 people touch him, and it was mostly older women late 50's early 60s. They always reach towards his head, and have to do like this double take to stop themselves when they realize they are touching a strangers newborn. It's kind of sweet, I think, and they usually cup his head when i dont freak out right away. It hasn't bothered me becuase it hasn't been excessive like face touching or letting sticky kids touch. I'm disgusted with germs, but if you go out in public and touch ANYTHING - including the money in your wallet, and touch your child without sanitizing your hands before each time, you're transferring germs and dirt and nasties, so you might as well calm down.
cheekyredhead cheekyredhead 4 years 23 weeks
In the grocery store a woman asked me if she could hold my baby. My reaction was WTH...I mean...only months before someone abducted a baby in the park after asking just to hold them. Germs...I admit I was paranoid. I told people with sniffles to leave the area. I sat in the car with my infant and had the pediatrician's nurse call me when it was our turn for the first well-child visit. They didn't have a "well" and separate "sick" child area. I changed Drs because of that. BTW...this pic on my post is my nephew's wife. She just had their first child. She is a photographer and this was a self portrait.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 4 years 23 weeks
#14 lots of people comment random people on their boobs, but usually it's young men who do the complementing! I guess it's sort of awkward-cute when your waitress does it.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 4 years 23 weeks
Getting my belly touched never really bothered me... it made me feel like a celebrity. Starlette walking through the crowd, and everyone is straining just to get a finger tip on her... it was like that. It's something I may never experience again, I guess I just made the most of it. The best thing that ever happened while I was pregnant, this Hare Krishna girl fell to her knees in front of me and blessed baby and me. Seriously, when will ANYONE EVER do that again? I agree you SHOULD ask first though. And touching baby? #8 that story is ridiculous! I would never touch a stranger's baby. I'm almost to nervous to touch babies I know.
4 years 23 weeks
I get it alllll the time! There is one lady at work- who by the way I barely know as I work in a big company who decided the other day to TALK into my belly button, she had her face pressed up against my belly "asking" the baby if it wanted cake! I'm currently 30 weeks along with my third and I'm still shocked how people can just touch and say the most inappropriate things to pregnant women! I had a random waitress tell me a few days ago that I'm all boobs and belly.. who comments to random people about their boobs!!
danakscully64 danakscully64 4 years 23 weeks
I've heard many stories from my sisters. One time my oldest sister was very pregnant and a little kid started touching. She didn't mind, but then he started lifting her shirt, all the while the Mom was just watching. My sister loves kids so she just politely told him not to do it, but was a little irritated that the Mom was encouraging him at first, without asking my sister, then didn't stop him when he was lifting the shirt. I think some people think of it like a handshake or a touch on the shoulder, not realizing how big a deal it is to most women. The story about the Mom touching the newborn, EEK! And for her to call you rude, what a nut. I would NEVER touch a strangers baby, especially around the face. Maybe the hand, but I would make sure I sanitized first and made sure it was okay. People are nutty!
POPSUGAR-Moms POPSUGAR-Moms 4 years 23 weeks
I love that your husband told him to get off — so great!
joeysnotoriogirl joeysnotoriogirl 4 years 23 weeks
I can see people being repulsed by or skittish about this if it's a pregnancy after a loss it's only natural for the expectant parents to be scared of the same tragedy happening again but other than that if the person asks first it's not a problem with me granted I've never been in the situation myself but my mom has when she lost her actual second child to miscarriage she had gotten pregnant about a month after I was born without trying to and lost the baby at about 10 weeks along so she would understand this as she didn't conceive again until I was 2 years old
4 years 23 weeks
Thankfully the few times people have touched my pregnant belly they have been people that I know and that I really don't mind doing it, plus most of them would ask! I understand people are drawn to and fascinated by pregnancy but you do wonder how they would feel in a similar lack of personal space kind of situation! I agree on strangers touching your baby aswell, how do they think this is ok? It's just another example of how people seem to think that a womans pregnancy or having had a baby means they can do or say anything they like to the mother without the constraints of manners or common sense.
Liss1 Liss1 4 years 23 weeks
I couldn't imagine going up to a stranger and touching their belly or their baby. Even when my sister whom i'm very close with was pregnant, i asked her if i could touch her stomach, i would never have just done it.
4 years 23 weeks
people touching my belly bothered me, but not nearly as much as people touching my newborn! i remember one time, it was my first time grocery shopping just me & baby. i had baby all snuggled in her carseat in the cart, and i was taking my time doing my shopping (it was our first outing and going surprisingly well, so i was actually enjoying grocery shopping haha). this woman, about 35 or 40, walked up and started asking me how old my daughter was and stuff. at first i thought she was just being nice, and then she started touching my dd's face and hands! then she lifted up her two year old child to let her touch and i had to tell her to please not touch the baby. i was nice about it, and i told her i'm just a germaphobe and a scared first time mommy. she got MAD AT ME. and told me i was being rude. umm.. my baby right? DONT TOUCH HER! ugh. especially the hands and face! ewww! older ladies (like grandmas) seem to be more understanding, and will ask to touch the baby first or at least will touch her leg or foot not her face!
starbucks2 starbucks2 4 years 23 weeks
We went to a wedding the day before I gave birth and a random girl (my boyfriend kinda new but didn't really like her) came up from behind and rubbed (RUBBED!) my belly. I didn't even see her, I just suddenly felt her hand on my stomach! She was drunk, too, and I really wish I would have slapped her for it. But everytime someone acts surprisingly rude around me I am just kinda dumbstruck. I usually just stand there, not believing that just happened. I realize people are drawn to pregnant bellies but is it so hard to ask? Another guest at the wedding winked at me and sad 'just so you know, I will touch your belly later tonight'. Sounds creepy, but it was really cute, the way he said it. And I had met him before and liked him so it was okay. One thing that my mom always taught me was that nobody had the right to touch me unless I allowed them too and i could always say no. I really don't think that changed when I was pregnant.
4 years 23 weeks
I never had any strangers trying to touch my belly, but even those close to me made me feel uncomfortable on occasion-I agree it's a personal space thing. What I had happen what this lady who worked in the fabric dept of my local walmart come up to me an almost take my 1 week old baby out of my hands. I get that I shopped there a lot while prepping for baby because I do a tonne of sewing, and I did kindof get to know her, but it was really just a friendly raport while shopping, and then to have her try to basically snatch my newborn from my arms just to hold her-that really freaked me out!
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 4 years 23 weeks
Well-said, Anonymous! :applause: Still, it's not something I liked, especially because I have personal space issues. There were times that I wouldn't react well, and would jump back or yell or squirm. Then I'd follow it up with, "Sorry, my hormones are making me crazy and I need my personal space."
schnappycat schnappycat 4 years 23 weeks
I must be weird or unapproachable, but this is my second pregnancy (I'm 36 weeks now and it's quite obvious) and not one stranger has ever attempted to touch my belly. Actually, no one has aside from my husband.
4 years 23 weeks
I don't think people have the right to touch whomever they please or that you should ever feel uncomfortable; however, the fact remains people are attracted to life. Pregnancy is kind of a miracle (I'm not a religious person either) and people want to connect with it, be close to it, touch it. It is still an amazing thing regardless that it's been done 7 billion times. I think that's what people intend when they touch, is not to be jerks or weirdos, but just to connect with life. It's an amazing thing.
jenni5 jenni5 4 years 23 weeks
OMG...what freak would do that? I have had 1 woman touch my belly (a waitress at a Thai restaurant), I guess she was so sweet and the way she went about it didn't really bother me though. But normally that would annoy the hell out of me...and your story is just completely creepy!
4 years 23 weeks
I am so afraid of this happening to me - I fear that I'm going to start punching people who do it! I just don't get it - why touch someone's belly? At the very least, ask if you can do it first... Yuk!