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Saved 3/21/07 to Wedding Talk

How Long Should an Engagement Be?


So as you all know, I recently got engaged (wahoo!!!) and I was wondering how long a typical engagement should be.

The reason I'm asking is because my honey and I are getting badgered by our families. We want to wait until the summer of 2008, but our parents are pushing for summer of 2007.

Ahh!! That would leave onlly 5 months to plan our wedding. I don't want to rush our engagement - I've been waiting years for this.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. How can we deal with our PUSHY PARENTS????

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Pink_Lipstick Pink_Lipstick 7 years 20 weeks
My fiance` and I will be engaged for a little over 3 years when we get married. We're paying for the wedding ourselves, so we're having to save the money. I would say be glad you have parents willing to pay for your wedding, but also don't let them push into something that feels too soon for you.
Nouveau-Jackie-O Nouveau-Jackie-O 7 years 20 weeks
My husband and I were engaged for almost 2 and a half years. We were in a long distance relationship and it took awhile to get our lives (where to live etc.) in sync. But, on the bright side, it did give us plenty of time to plan our day while enjoying our engagement. So, take YOUR time and plan the wedding YOU want! You won't regret it:)
Nouveau-Jackie-O Nouveau-Jackie-O 7 years 20 weeks
Hey PeachBellini, My answer to your question would be an unequivocal "absolutely not". There is no rule in the friendship playbook that says your marital plans should be put on hold just because a friend is getting married in two years on whatever date. Hopefully your friend wouldn't harbor an unreasonable expectation like that.
PeachBellini PeachBellini 7 years 20 weeks
A random question that has to do with long engagements. If a good friend gets engaged and plans a 2 plus year engagement, does that mean others in her group of friends have to wait until after she gets married to have their weddings? In our group of friends there a few of us who will probably be getting engaged soon, but I know I personally don't want to wait more than 2 years for my wedding. What are your thoughts?
demeter demeter 7 years 20 weeks
A year to a year and a half. That would be my comfort zone.
nycgirl nycgirl 7 years 20 weeks
Congrats!! I didn't want to be rushed into 'wedding planning mode'-- I wanted to enjoy being engaged and staring at my ring!!! It was our decision to be engaged for 2 years, and I didn't start planning until 1 year before our date. In hindsight, I think 2 years is a bit long, but I wouldn't want anything less than a year. Otherwise you might not get the venue or photographer you want, and these are big deals!! I know your parents are going to be pushy and excited, but this is your decision, not theirs. Keep them busy planning your engagement party or something! Good luck!
laurie_o16 laurie_o16 7 years 20 weeks
I think each couple should decide what is best for them. For me my engagement was probably the shortest in the world! My (now) husband and I talked about getting married for months and had picked out my ring. My family kept wanting to push it back. By the end of the discussion they had moved it back from our original date to 5 months out and they still couldn't agree on what would work for them. We had planned a March wedding for months and with the time approaching we had to make a decision quickly on when we really wanted the wedding. So two weeks from our original date we announced the wedding to friends and family. We were already working on getting the ring but he didn't want to propose until he had the ring. So I had two weeks to plan the wedding. I got my ring on Wednesday night and was married that Saturday. We chose to do a small wedding and still ended up with 70 people there. It worked out perfectly for us since we wanted a small wedding anyway. So...all that to say...It is totally up to the couple because it is your day and not your parents day!
siouxsie siouxsie 7 years 20 weeks
however long you need. everyone is different.
nicole815 nicole815 7 years 25 weeks
My fiance and I have been together for nearly 7 and a half years. We got engaged on Christmas Eve 2005 and have just begun planning our wedding for August 2, 2008! Go at your own pace!
SexyBack80 SexyBack80 7 years 25 weeks
I had 11 months to plan...Got engaged in October 2005 and got married in September 2006. Make them wait, I think an engagement should be about a year. 5 months is def not enough time to plan a wedding! Take time to enjoy your engagment before diving head first into planning!
kendallina kendallina 7 years 25 weeks
Take as much time as you and your future hubby want. It is your day. Do what makes you happy!
sexyeyes sexyeyes 7 years 26 weeks
I agree with SJP... If I get engaged I would wait a year then I'll get marry ;-) _____________________________________________________________ Behind every great man, there's a woman rolling her eyes :oy:
Shiloh-Jolie-Pitt Shiloh-Jolie-Pitt 7 years 26 weeks
I'd say a year is fine. You need time to plan things. Some ppl don't even set a date, they just get engaged to symbolize a deeper commitment and that's fine too. Whatever works for you girl. It's YOUR life, don't let anybody impose their views on you. _________________________________________________ * partytime! *
uptowngirl1999 uptowngirl1999 7 years 26 weeks
P.S. Don't let anyone tell you when they want you to get married. My parents tried that and I bit their heads off. Not once afterwards did they mention weddings/marriage until the day we told them we were engaged. And my mother-in-law was mad that we chose October to wed, but it was OUR CHOICE, not hers! Pick the things you want because it is your day, and you want to remember it the way you want to. I had problems with my MIL (mother in law) who was trying to do it her way. But then again the wedding before mine, brother-in-law's she pretty much planned the whole thing for them. But anyways....
uptowngirl1999 uptowngirl1999 7 years 26 weeks
As always, depends on your own situation. There is no real normal engagement period. I'd say about a year is average. Mine was less than a year, my sister's was 2+ years (but her and her fiance were in college and were waiting until they graduated), and my brother-in-law's was less than 6 months (no doubt there were eyebrows raised especially since they had been dating for less than 4 months when they got engaged). It also depends on what facilities you are using--if they are booked for the time you are wanting to use them, you might have to adjust your engagement period. Or if the florist you really want is booked, etc. Some people might wonder if you are engaged less than 6 months what the rush is, and if you wait longer then people will wonder why the wait. It's all up to you and your fiance how long of an engagement period you want.
Beaner Beaner 7 years 26 weeks
Someone also told us "The longer your engagement, the more money you'll spend on the wedding." Hmmm, I don't reaally see how that's possible, but we are shooting for the end of the summer in 2008. Basically my mom and his mom told us separatlet that they don't really care about the wedding, THEY JUST WANT GRANDKIDS!!!! Sheesh. Can't a girl just be engaged?
wynter wynter 7 years 26 weeks
However long you need. 12-18 months sounds good. Mine was 3 months, but we ended up eloping since he was being deployed.
KWM KWM 7 years 26 weeks
Take as long as you want! I had 18 months to plan and it was perfect!
Daisy6264 Daisy6264 7 years 26 weeks
Listen to your Heart....Do what YOU want.
lickety-split lickety-split 7 years 26 weeks
i think that if you give them something firm "july 17th 2008 at 6:00 p.m. at the vermont inn" and say "the deposit is non refundable" that will be the end of it. they want to share the news. my guess is that when they say "our little sheri is getting married" people are saying "when" and the "i don't really know" answer is making them uncomfortable. even if you change it later at least they will have something to share in the mean time. "oh the inn is being remodled and we were concerned about construction"..."the site was to big/small for our needs" later will cover it.
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 7 years 26 weeks
I would set a date sometime in the summer of 2008 and just tell both sets of parents that's the date. Tell them your glad their excited, BUT you all want to get married in the summer of 2008 so, you have time to plan for the wedding of your dreams. Good luck, Beaner! :)
SWEET-C9363 SWEET-C9363 7 years 26 weeks
make em wait. i had a year to plan!!!!
reeveske reeveske 7 years 26 weeks
my parents let their rents push them into a wedding and my mom regretted it. she was rushed, and couldnt plan the wedding of her dreams all to please others (around 6 months to plan). she has always told me she wished she waited and never wants me to rush cause you are only going to have this day once (hopefully-ha) and it is something you have thought about your whole life. this is YOUR day, not theirs. i vote to make 'em wait!