I feel like my boyfriend's past relationship is haunting me
The guy I'm currently dating is my very first boyfriend while I am his 3rd girlfriend. About a year into our relationship I started to get annoyed after still finding reminders of his exes all over the place: pictures of them in his room, pictures on his computer of them in his bed, wearing underwear, old notes he'd saved from them that were lying around, songs or poems he'd written for them in random notebooks... I swear I didn't start looking for this stuff. But after confronting my boyfriend about this and having him tell me it was no big deal and he'd just forgotten this stuff was around, I started to get paranoid and I did actually look at his yearbook. I will admit that this was a really stupid thing to do. It had all these prom pictures of him and his girlfriend, a dedication from him to her and a personal message that he paid for, and a really long note from his ex inside the front cover. I know it might sound dumb but reading that stuff made me feel really jealous. Especially since there were allusions to them having sex and she was his first (and he was mine).
Anyway, after awhile my boyfriend said he'd gotten rid of everything. But it's been 2 years since this all happened and I am still finding pictures of her saved on the computer, letters to her, and just now when I was playing music I found a huge file of songs labeled "Our Songs" thinking it was for me and him, I got all excited but then I realized it was for his ex and contained songs and sound bites from movies about love and whatnot. Again, I am NOT looking for this stuff. I don't want to see it and I don't want to know about it. I'm really upset right now, partially because I am sick of finding this stuff and partially because when I do, I feel like my boyfriend doesn't care as much about me. He's never done cute little things for me like he seemed to do for his ex. Honestly, the only thing I can think of is that he once bought me a little stuffed "imp plushie" that I liked. And we've been going out for 4 years now! He only went out with this other girl for a year and a half. I just feel kind of sick over the whole thing but I also think I'm maybe overreacting. I don't know. I just don't know how to handle this! I try really hard to please my boyfriend and I guess it bothers me that he doesn't seem to try as much with me. I talked about this with him before (when he forgot my first birthday with him) and he claims it's just because he's "not like that", yet then I find that he DID do all this really sweet stuff previously.
I don't know what to do or what to think. Am I just being crazy? Or am I right to be a little peeved? Any advice for the future?