I snooped through his texts.. and he's furious
Clearly I have trust problems. I'm more than ready to admit this.
I've been with this guy for 8 years. We live together.
Our story is really messed up, I feel like I have to warn you.
One time I broke my cellphone, and he lent me his old cellphone to use for the time being, until I bought a new one.
I took some pictures on it, and while uploading my pictures onto my computer, I found OLDER pictures on it of HIM and some other girl in a bar. He is standing straight and taking the picture, but she is leaning into him, with her face on his shoulder and her head pressed to his cheek.
Since this was completely an accident and he was right there, I got very upset and he says that he chatted up the girl just to prove to his guy friends that he could, and show them the picture to prove it.
I've always been jealous and insecure and suspicious, and I feel like this made it even WORSE.
Fastforward, I snoop because I feel like he's hiding things and being dishonest, while he says he's hiding things because I would just freak out and not trust him about it.
We've had a talk where I apologized for my lack of trust and asked him for help by always telling me everything regarding other women, and I'll try my best to not get jealous and freak out about it.
He agrees, but does not tell me anything, we just fall back into the same thing.
I keep snooping and eventually find texts on his phone with a phone number he has saved but with no name. The girl talks to him about her life, says she wishes he would clean her apartment for her, and that she loves to hear from him and it makes her smile.
I confront him with it and he gets furious, saying I have no respect for his privacy, and that there's nothing going on, and that I should call the girl to find out for myself.
I do call the girl, but from her end it seems like they've been texting back and forth for years and that some things HAVE happened in the past, but she is not clear on it. She says that talking about the memories brings back pain, and that she "had been young, it was a mistake". However, she also lies to me and says they haven't talked since god knows when, when I just saw their texts that day.
They met in a place we used to live, and he never introduced me to her or talked about her. I never even knew about her until now, 2 years later, after we've moved away for 2 years.
After our fight over these texts, he goes to the extreme and disconnects his phone, saying that is the only way he can give both he and I a peace of mind.
I guess I just want to hear random people on the internet tell me that I'm really crazy and this all needs to stop.
My friends say different things. Some say that if I trusted him I wouldn't snoop, and some say that if he had nothing to hide he wouldn't mind my snooping.
I don't know what I think now. It's all a jumble of hurt and confusion.