Let your voice be heard Stepmoms!!!!

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Moxy Margs

Saved 6/03/08 to Evil Stepmothers Unite!!

Let your voice be heard Stepmoms!!!!

Are you an "evil" Stepmother? Had a wild encounter with a crazy ex-wife? Are your weekly child visitation drop-offs anything but drama free? Well Stepmoms, we want to hear from you!

We are compiling stories, jokes, advice, testimonials, and poems from Stepmoms around the country for a new book dedicated to (who else) Stepmoms! This book will serve as an aid to Stepmoms who are in need of a good laugh, cry, or who just need to know that they aren't alone! Being a Stepmom can be rewarding, but it also has it's moments (sometimes more than you could have ever imagined).

If you are interested in being a part of this rewarding project, please email us one or more of the following:

-Advice for new (or veteran) Stepmoms
-Jokes about ex-wifes, being a Stepmom, or Stepkids
-Any experiences or stories you may have had with an ex-wife or your Stepkids
-Poems you've written about being a Stepmom
-Artwork focused on being a Stepmom

Our email address is evilstepmomsunite@gmail.com. With your emails, please include your first name and last initial, your city and state, and a good number for us to reach you. We may contact you with any questions or clarifications that may arise.

Thanks for your contribution!

Keywords: Stepmothers, stepmoms, support groups, books, publishing, writing gigs, Stepkids, ex-wives, short stories

Saved to

Evil Stepmothers Unite!!

drivencrazy 2 years 2 weeks

Going Crazy ~ I have been a step mom for almost 5 years and it has to be the most difficult position I have ever been in. Although my husband only has two children with the bio mom she actually has 5 total (3 dads). Out of all 5 children she has not raised one of them from birth to teenager without giving up custody to their fathers for a period of time. My husband has a disabled child with her and a child that has no disabilities. After a long drawn out custody battle for the children the mother ended up with the two kids and a healthy monthly paycheck for maintenance and child support. However, once the maintenance ran out the children were no longer as healthy of a meal ticket and the disabled child now lives with her nurse and is only 12 and we have custody of my other step child. About three years ago this women drove over to our house and literally broke the door in to get into our home, while we were there! Needless to say she is crazy. We had just moved into our new home and my poor husband had to move us as I was away on a business trip. I had just been back from my business trip for a few days and after work one night my husband and I were sitting in our living room, boxes and furniture everywhere, discussing how we were going to arrange the furniture and what should go where. All of a sudden we heard this startling loud pounding on our front door. At first I thought it was one of our family members playing a funny joke on us. We looked at each other in confusion and then the pounding started again. I started to get up from the couch when all of a sudden our front door flew open and slammed against the entrance way wall. I heard someone screaming at the top of her lungs a lot of profanity and something about a dog and a child. Before I knew it was ms. crazy I thought that maybe our dog got out of the back yard and bit a neighbor child (our dog was sweet and had never bit anyone but things happen when animals are in a new environment) But then as she turned the corner and I saw the face, I was mortified to say the least. Oh no you didn't just break into my home! She continued screaming at the top of her lungs and my husband escorted her outside where we discovered that their 8 year old daughter was in the car. They continued yelling and screaming at each other out in our front yard. I was humiliated, embarrassed and scared to death. She began pushing my husband at which time I had no choice but to dial 911. I am not a person who airs dirty laundry in public and for this to take place in front of my brand new neighbors was humiliating. She finally left but when the police arrived they took our statements and apparently when they went over to her house to talk to her the door was opened and they heard her confessing to the nurse that was looking after their disabled child. When the police came back to our home they notified us of what they heard and said they were taking her to jail. The police officer then shared with us that this was the worst part of his job. He hated arresting parents in front of their children but when he asked the bio mom to have her daughter go into their home her statement to him was "if you are going to arrest me you are going to do it in front of my child." For as long as I have been involved everyone has always felt so sorry for this women because she has a handicapped child. Don't get me wrong, I have a bleeding heart and would do not even pretend to understand what parents go through when their children have serious handicaps. However, from everything that I have witnessed she has manipulated nursing staff (paid for by the state) and friends to take care of her children. The bio mom just runs a muck partying with her friends. The bio mom has since moved the disabled child in with nurse and from the nurses own mouth the mom rarely visits. Because of her disability my husband has her only every other weekend and we have a nurse at our home when she is here. My husband has also been given primary custody of their other daughter. Oh yeah, it also came to my husband attention, via the nurse, that none of the child support or social security disability money was actually being given to the nurse to provide for the disabled child. I think the nurse finally turned her in to SSI and she ended up making some type of restitution for the money that was never used for the child. Swear this woman is crazy and I have had it. She has said that the role of a step parent is to be nothing more than a gracious hostess to her children. Excuse ME! She is never around and when she does have her daughter she typically ships her off to one of her friends houses for the weekend. This post is really just the tip of the iceberg. I am of course treated as though I am a stranger in my own home. I bake cookies for school functions, throw birthday parties, have sleep overs, help with science and other school projects, play games, go on hikes, get horseback riding lessons among many other things. I however feel as though I have no respect in my own home both by my step child and my husband. Whenever I try and bring anything up I am always met with resistance and an immediate defensive excuse before I can even get my frustration out. I am at my wits end. I was a single mom who worked, went to school and raised my son. My ex-husband and I worked hard over the years to raise our son without drama. This is so foreign to me and I feel like I am a stranger in my own home. My child is now in his twenties and lives with his dad so it's just me. I am almost ready to throw in the towel. It's always about what I can do for them and what their needs are. Do all step parents go through this and how do you stand up for yourself???

my3stepkids 2 years 15 weeks

I just stumbled on this blog as I was searching ways to tell my step kids I love them. I'm feeling a little lost and hope to hear stories(I intend to read all of the comments about), and I just may vent my feelings as my own comments as well. I have been married just over a year, we have been together just over 5 years. Before one year we were living together and on the fast track to "practically married" (happily I should add). Although the happily comes along with an "Ex", unfortunately. It's been a bumpy ride since day 1. The ex, the kids mother lost custody about 2 years after I met my husband. "We" have full custody, she has visitation every other weekend. Reasons for this make for a very long story and long list of damage she did before the custody was changed. It took way too long for the change however my husband always did as he felt was BEST for the kids, which was to have the kids spend time with mom, to never strip them of their mom. Circumstances were brought to his attention and he took the measures necessary to put the kids in a safe situation. The kids have adjusted as well as any kids in a split family situation could I suppose. I'm sure their are exceptions to the norm from one extreme to the other. We are in the middle of this norm in my modest opinion. I could write for weeks straight.... not that anyone cares to read this. Just using this as a journal of sorts. I hope to spark conversations however. Hopefully I can relate to other stories as well as others to mine. I haven't even truly begun.

notthemomma 2 years 41 weeks

The Stepchildren 1. How long have you been a Stepmother? 12 years (+1 year dating) 2. How many Stepchildren do you have? 4 all girls 3. How many times a month do you see your Stepchildren? Do they live with you? 1 grown never lived with us, 1 lived with us until grown, 2 not grown live with us still. 4. How old are your Stepchildren? 26, 21, 17, 14. 5. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the worst and 10 the best), how would you rate your relationship with your Stepchildren? Have a close and good relationship with the eldest (26) and two youngest (17 & 14) so for them a 10. However, my relationship with the eldest middle child (21) has had it's ups and downs, When it was just us we were fine, but if her mom was anywhere in the picture, she treated me like garbage. Now she treats me like garbage all the time, telling lies that I abused her, that she was deprived a childhood, that I "controlled" her. None of it true. so for her I gotta say a 3. 6. Describe some funny comments and/or conversations that you’ve had with your Stepchildren. There have been lots of times when we laughed and joked. I don't think I could single any one out. 7. What is your most memorable experience involving your Stepchildren? Every day. My youngest girls always take time everyday to let me know they love me. 8. What is the most challenging part of being a Stepmother? THEIR MOTHER! The woman is convinced or at least continually tries (and sometimes succeeds) to convince others especially the children themselves, that I abuse the children, that they are neglected and beaten, that I brainwash them against her, that I stole her husband and her children, that I am a satanist, that I am a whore, that I only married my husband for his money (he doesn't have any by the way, he has always been a $30K a year man) just think Soap Opera type drama and you have a pretty good idea of what I live with every single day of my life. 9. What advice do you have for Stepmothers in dealing with their Stepchildren? No matter what love them. If you are going through hell as the stepmom, they are going through twice the hell. Not all kids are the same, some want you, some want her, no matter what they want do what you feel in your heart is right. The Ex-Wife 1.On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the worst and 10 the best), how would you rate your relationship with the ex-wife (mother of the children)? 1 (in truth closer to -10) 2. When you are in the presence of the ex-wife, how would you describe your emotions? It's complicated, I feel resentful, angry, controlled, dominated, but most of all I feel sorry for her. I stay as far away from her as I can. It just makes things easier for the kids to not see or feel the tension between us, or to hear the things she has to say about me and their dad when she sees us together. 3. Do you have any “horror-stories” involving the ex-wife? If so, please describe. I have a lot. Most significant occured when MY child was 6 months old. At the request of the now 21 year old, the mother was living with my husband, myself, and the children ( ours and theirs). The mother was out of work and her 3rd husband had just left her and she had no where to live and my now 21 year old had come to me begging for her mother to stay with us. How do you tell a (then) 12 year old little girl no in a situation like that? YOU DON"T. But, maybe I should have. Within three days of her moving in my son, then 6 months old, fell terribly ill with no explanation, I was feeling very vulnerable in regards to the kids with her there, and my husband a seriously unhappy camper about her being there. In short: My nerves were shot! On the third emergency room trip with my son, the Dr noticed a white powder around his mouth and had the insight to test it. Turned out to be sulfur, the kind cock fighters use to stop bleeding. Her ex was into cock fighting. I am not accusing her, but the circumstances have always bothered me. My son was very ill, he had chemical (sulfur) ulsers in his tummy. Not having any proof, not having anything, I could not accuse her, I was so confused about what to do. I kept my son close... moving him out of his nursery and into my bedroom, never leaving him in the same room with her, I washed and sterilized bottles and kept them and all formula in my room with me and kept the door locked when I was not in there. Three months I tolerated her, her smart mouth, her telling their kids that I was "just" the stepmom and they didn't have to mind me because she was their momma and she was living there too. Three months of sitting on her butt and not even looking for a job. And still I tried to be patient. But one night, Oct 22, she went out with a friend and didn't come back that night. I guess she thought I wasn't home when she came in the next day, and honestly, normally I wouldn't have been except that she was gone and I had my house to myself for the first time in months. I slept in. Anyway, when she came in she was on her cell phone yapping at somebody about how stupid my husband and I were, and how she had a free ride living with us, and it was just like she was still married to my husband, and then she made the statement that pissed me off, she told whoever was on the phone that she would have him back within a month and me and my "little bastard brat" would be nothing. I hit the roof! I told her to get the hell out of my house and to get out right that minute. She politely informed me she wasn't going anywhere. Wanna bet! I called the police and her removed telling both them and her that she could retrieve her belongings after my husband got home from work that afternoon. As soon as they were gone I broke down crying for fear that the kids would hate me for it. I called my husband at work and told him what had happened, what I had heard her say, what I feared the kids would say, my suspisions about our son, everything. Being the kind of man he is, he took the rest of the day off and came straight home. Not fifteen minutes after he pulled into the drive she was back. Screaming at him about how he needed to get a backbone and keep his "B***h" in line. Then my worst fears were confirmed, she said... and I can still hear it as if it were just said... "Don't worry baby I will get rid of that little bastart you are stuck with, you know he aint yours". Man I really lost it then, I remember crossing the thresh-hold to outside, the next thing I remember was her backed up against a tree, my husband in front of her holding both my forearm, saying baby don't she aint worth it, and then the county sherriff pulling up. 4. Do you have any humorous stories involving the ex-wife? If so, please describe. Nothing that should be told in polite company. 5. How do you deal with your emotions surrounding the ex-wife? Do you have any vices? I write (as you can probably see from above), and I do a lot of daily positive self reinforcement, and I stay as far away from her as I can get! I did drink but quit about 6 years ago, and I smoked but quit that too about a year ago 6. What advice do you have for Stepmothers in dealing with the ex-wives? Do whatever is best for the kids... and YOU! Somebody is always going to blame you for something, just follow your heart.

EverythngButEvil 4 years 25 weeks

Well, Well, Well....I'm not alone. I am a stepmother to two five year old boys to TWO different mothers. Yes, well obviously my husband skipped his sex ed class. :o) My experiences have been up and down...and unfortunately mostly down. The moms at times have been known to gain up on us in court and lie to try to gain more custody, therefore gaining more support money. And I'm almost POSITIVE one is related to Satan! She has went as far as trying to accuse us of abuse after getting mad about a custody battle that we finally won. Recently one of my stepsons was forbidden to kiss me and only to wave to me when saying goodbye. How aweful for a child that doesn't know better. Also, one mother wants her son to call me by my first name, the other wants her son to call me stepmommy. I have a child of my own that calls me mommy. This gets a little confusing to all the children if one person is being called three different names. I have been with my husband since his boys were 1 years old so I didn't think it was too out of the question for them to call me Mom at my house....THEY FLIPPED! I used to call my friends mothers and fathers: Mom and Dad when I was little...so what was the problem. My husband was actually brought to court from one of the mothers over it. The mediator agread that "Mom" is just a title. And at our house there is a Dad and a Mom. The boys mom was told it was a jealousy issue and she needed to get over it...NICELY SAID!

Moxy Margs 4 years 48 weeks

Hi ladies! I just posted the Stepmother Questionnaire in a separate post within this group. Feel free to take a look and email it back to me. I would also love to see any art, poetry, or jokes involving our roles as Stepmothers. No hurry! This project should take about a year to compile materials from Stepmothers around the USA. Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you! xo m xo

carrieann9016 4 years 48 weeks

Moxy is still working up the questionaire! So it is not too late Haze!

haze 4 years 48 weeks

Woah! This book sounds like a treasure, Margs. Heartbreak, Humor, Love, Strife. Yes. Being a stepmom has it's very own set of challenges and rewards. Anyway - I'm so sorry that I missed this post. If you're still accepting entries I will see what I can pull together for you.

5Staci5 4 years 48 weeks

I just got engaged this weekend. The mother to my fiance' is the devil her self I do not know how to edit a comment I have posted but peale insert Children after Fiance' Mother of my fiances *children

5Staci5 4 years 48 weeks

I just got engaged this weekend. The mother to my fiance' is the devil her self. A manuplitave, lying Bi-polar basket case. I do everything I can to stay out of it, but I can not help but be hurt by some of the things that are happening. It is very ovewhelming. This woman only thinks about herself. The sad part about it all has nothing to do with how this effecting the adults in the entire situation, and everything to do with the negitave impact it is having on the children. I am at a loss on how I can help the situation for the better. I want to be there to support my future husband, but I do not know what to do. This problem has become increasingly worse since our engagement. Jealousy? Who knows. It is insanity, she has gottn remarried (years ago) and has children with her husband (prior to the engagement). Why cant we be happy? Please someone give me hope. I think I could cope better if I could figure it out or understand it. But I can seem to wrap my brain around this chaos.

Moxy Margs 4 years 49 weeks

Thanks Carrieann! I would love to hear your stories also! I am so happy with the response I've been getting for this project. I am confident that this will benefit so many Stepmoms and women dating men with children. I look forward to receiving your email! :)

carrieann9016 4 years 49 weeks

I would also like a questionaire! It's hard to remember all of the frustration that you try so hard to forget so you can move on.I will shoot you an email. I have about 8 years of stories!

Moxy Margs 4 years 49 weeks

Hi VMruby, I really appreciate your comment and willingness to help! I agree with you that sharing personal experiences is a great way to connect with others. If you know of any other Stepmoms that would benefit from telling their story, please pass the above contact information along. 10 years! Yes, I'll say you have some stories to share. Would it help if I emailed you a questionare? It may help you recall some of your experiences. Shoot me an email and I will forward it along to you. Thanks again!

vmruby 4 years 49 weeks

Moxy Margs.... My stepson's mom has been deceased for a couple of years but i do have more than 10 years of experience dealing with the drama.I think sharing personal experiences is a great way to help others cope with their step children/ex-wives/ex-girlfriends.I wouldn't know where to start so if there's anything you need to know please just ask me.I'd be more than happy to help.:)

Moxy Margs 4 years 49 weeks

Carrieann, VMruby, I would love to include you in this book that I am working on! This book is meant to be a tool to help Stepmoms around the country by letting them know that they are not alone. Email me any stories, advice, thoughts...whatever! I will not use names if you wish. My email is evilstepmomsunite@gmail.com.

carrieann9016 4 years 50 weeks

I hear you! my stepdaughter will not tell me she loves me or even hug me for fear that her mother will find out and be mad. She tells me she loves me only when I have done something big for her and that is a recent thing. "Too fashionable" is her being jealous and basically telling you that she wishes she could dress like you. Then the accusations of money get involved! It's a never ending battle sometimes! I hope and pray that your situation gets better. Keep me posted!

Moxy Margs 4 years 50 weeks

Yes, I get blamed for a lot of things from the mother. They are always untrue and it astonishes me as to some of the things she comes up with. I've been accused of being "too fashionable" which apparently isn't a good thing. She has even gone as far as to accuse me of physically abusing the children, which was immediately dealt with by my filing a telephonic harrassment order against her. I feel like she reaches for reasons to hate me and distance me from the girls. It's so unfair.

carrieann9016 4 years 50 weeks

I have the some of the same issues as Moxy. Sometimes there are pleasantries and sometimes not. It all depends on the mood of the mother. If she feels like blaming me for her situation in life. She believes I am the reason he left. Truthfully I did not come along until after he decided to leave!

vmruby 4 years 50 weeks

I'm a stepmom to my husbands 19 yr old son by a previous girlfriend. Thank godness we have a good relationship(he lives with us)and he's a great kid mostly unaffected by his mother's drama, but it wasn't always smooth sailing and i've known him since birth. Moxy Margs I agree that it's sometimes impossible to maintain any type of civil relationship with the stepchild's mother because she just won't allow it to happen.The same thing happened to me and she was the ex from hell.

Moxy Margs 4 years 50 weeks

I agree Rocket Bunny. Unfortunately, that rarely happens. Most of the time, the relationship between the Stepmom and mother is hostile, perpetuated by the mother. This isn't always the case, but it's what I have heard from many, many, many Stepmoms and experienced myself.

Rocket Bunny 4 years 50 weeks

If I were a stepmom ,I would want to become friend with the mom.