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Saved 1/13/13 to Group Therapy

Loss of libido... any idea how to get it back?


I think a lot of women have had this issue at one point or another, but what do you do when you've completely lost your libido?
I've been in a relationship for 5 years. I'm very happy with my partner. I'm attracted to him physically and emotionally. But I just don't have it in me anymore! Sex feels like a chore to me now when I used to love it! It's really great when we manage to get into it, but it's always so hard to start and he always has to initiate because i never feel like it :( I feel so bad because he thinks it's his fault, and it's not. Maybe TMI, but honestly, I don't even want to touch myself anymore...My drive started to drop when I started taking Ortho Tri-Cyclen lo (when i was 18) and 2 months ago I started taking Aviane (I'm 24 now) do you think birth control has anything to do with it? I've only been on Aviane for such a short time. There's been some spotting (again TMI sorry) and that DEFINITELY doesn't make me feel sexy, but I'm told that's normal and will stop eventually...We lived together for most of our relationship, but myy boyfriend currently lives in another city (only an hour away) while he takes a 12 month course and would consider it Semi LDR because I can only see him every other weekend due to schedule conflicts (we've been doing this for 6 months so far). Because I dont see him often I WANT to want him. I miss him terribly when we're apart and countdown the days till I can see him, so why don't I want sex or even to pleasure myself when he's not home with me? Please help :(

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henna-red henna-red 1 year 35 weeks
Ditto. You've totaly changed your hormonal mix, and hormones control absolutely everything in your body. Talk to you gyno asap, and bubbles advice is great for planning sex, and cuddling and romance. Also, realize that a med change can have you ping ponging emotionaly as well as physically, so really talk to your doc about all of the side effects, and consequences of the birth control you try.
Bubbles12 Bubbles12 1 year 35 weeks
OMG, yes the birth control can definitely have something to do with it. Happened to me too. Go to your doctor and talk with them about it and try something different. Or maybe it's something else medical, so you definitely want a check up. A few other tips, schedule one night or morning a week that you know for sure you'll have sex. No excuses, you just do it. It takes a lot of pressure off, you can prepare in every way, and everything else is a bonus. It's REALLY important to continue to have sex with him because for men it's a big deal in their feeling loved and respected. If you're doing it mostly because you love him, I can't think of a better definition of 'making love' and just enjoy the closeness. And you can flirt with him out of the bedroom too, it isn't all sex. Chances are this will come back with a medicine change. Good luck!