The Acrobats
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Working Mothers Leisure Time
Saved 6/27/07 to The Acrobats

Marriage or Childrearing...which is harder?

I love my husband, and I adore my child.
They are the only two men I have ever had in my life on a really personal level that fulfill my need for male companionship. With my son, it is all about having fun, teaching him, learning from him (because we can and should learn about the beauty of innocence, love, and joy from our children), and helping him become a better and more successful person than either I or his father have become.
With my husband, it is about growing with someone...figuring out life and how it works when you are sharing it with someone.
To me...that is harder.
It is hard to figure out how to balance your own self-interests, because they do not end when you get married, and those that are best for the unit. It is hard to have to deal with and accept someone else's faults, personality, opinions, issues, whatever...
With a child, of course, the difficulty comes in the unknown...each of us raises each child the best we can at the time (hopefully) but there is always that factor of knowing when to protect, when to allow the child to explore, when to step in, when to allow the child to handle the situation, etc.

So what do you think...which is harder. Cuz these are just MY opinions.

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The Acrobats

Working Mothers Leisure Time
hvnly34 hvnly34 8 years 48 weeks
Marriage is DEFINITELY harder. You are an integral part of your child's development - you mold them into who they will be; whereas your spouse was most likely the way they are (and will always be) when you all met. Your spouse therefore responds to you and does things based on a set of factors and experiences that you may not have been involved with and may not understand. You teach your kids your expectations and if you do it correctly, they will get them and respond to them. Husbands...not so much. Now I have no experience with raising teenagers, so maybe that is a different story...
ccsugar ccsugar 8 years 48 weeks
I am not married nor do I have children, but I think you articulated this well, klynnmorton!!
kiwitwist kiwitwist 8 years 48 weeks
I think marriage is harder to the fact that you can 'get out of it'. A lot of people aren't willing to fight to be with the person they love.. it gets a little tough and they bolt. Children are a forever deal. Know what I mean? You and your significant other are always going to be changing, going through something, etc. You need to learn to compomise and be compassionate with them. I personally do not have children yet but that is how I see it. A child can make or break a relationship... it is all in the work you are willing to put forth. Now I am ready for the bashing on what I just wrote... :-D