Moving On...But It Hurts!!
Me and my ex recently broke up like a month ago. I am just so disgusted by his behavior towards me lately. I never in my life seen someone play victim as much as he does. He has done more wrong to me the entire 3 years put altogether than I've done to him. He's the type of guy who doesnt like to see anyone else happy and doing them. He sabatoges himself, others and even our relationship. I'm not saint, I know what I've done wrong in this relationship. I just cant seem to process the fact that I was there for him when nobody was even when he treated me like shit. Making me feel bad and abusing me. He has apologized numerous times but at this point his apologies mean nothing to me. His actions lately have showed me all I needed to know. Immediately after we broke up he started talking to another woman like less lt like less than a week later. How much did I mean to him if he did that to me? In the weeks that unfolded after that happened I was very hurt and felt like he was doing it on purpose. I wasnt jealous, because Im not a jealous female. So that didnt work. He didnt seem remorseful or sorry. When I told him how I felt about it of course he justified it as he always does. He is a narcisstic & controlling person. I have been trying to contact him but he blocked my numbers like IM the one who hurt him!! I cant believe he is being so immature towards me. I would never do that to anyone. I feel so betrayed. He cares about nobody but himself, and Im very mad at myself that I stayed with such an uncaring person for 3 years. I wasted my time & energy into him. It was never about me in the first place because he never did anything for me. I did everything to keep the relationship going; financially, sexually, emotionally EVERYTHING. He promised so much to me and still hasnt done SHIT!! I sacrificed so much of myself for him, to the point where I had no time for myself and was neglecting everything around me including my health. I've never been this hurt in my life by anyone, nor will I ever let someone hurt me this bad again. I will never fall in love with someone who intentions arent good. The red flags were dangling in front of my face the whole time and I ignored everything. Here is a guy who is walking around as if nothing happened. Like we werent together for 3 years. Like I was and will be the best woman he'll ever meet, his history shows that he falls for women who are as worthless as he is, and he likes to use people, not just women, he takes advantage of his friends & family too. Karma is a bitch, I never done anything disloyal to him and I never cheated. There is no way God is going to let him get away with all the hell he put me through. My heart was in the right place. He took for granted a nice christian woman, who does no wrong to anyone. I truly believe I am the nicest woman or person he's ever ran across. The women in his family arent nice either, so I can see where he was taught to treat women badly. I think he is bipolar. I never met anyone in my life that does as much evil things he does to people. I cant even believe I loved him. I see a pattern with everything he does. You cant replace someone who sacrificed their own happiness for yours and put you before everything and everyone. I helped him out and defended him when I never shouldve. He claims he will always have my back but his actions dont show that. He used me for everything I had for his own personal gain. Like I said he is a narcisstic person. This relationship was never about me and I really see it now. Anytime I would cry or tell him how Im feeling he would be mean to me like Im not supposed to have feelings. He would hang up on me or ignore me just as he's doing now. He doesnt respect me. I tried telling him how I felt about the breakup and the horrible things he did to me. He cant take the truth. Now he's avoiding me because of that. Is he feeling guilty or does he not care? Will he ever realize all the wrong he did to me? I hope so but I dont think he will. He has hurt me to badly. I dont forgive him. What is he ignoring me for? I did nothing to him. Im the abused one here not him!! Running away isnt making it better for anyone. Answer the phone and talk to me like an ADULT instead of ignoring me like a CHILD. He would then turn it onto himself because he is a self-absorbed person. I was so loyal to him and he did me wrong so many times. He took my kindness for weakness. He blames everything that happens to him on everyone else. He doesnt take responsibility for nothing he has done to me, because he aplogizes and then does something else to hurt me. He abused me for so long and I dont think he even cares the full extent to how Im suffering now, while he's at the club, ignoring my calls and talking to other women. The emotional & psychological scars are so deep. I think I need counseling. Im having a hard time coping with this. I believe all this drama and abuse has caused me to become depressed, angry, insecure, confused and every sad. I cant believe someone was ok with abusing a nice person like me. I feel like that was his intentions from day 1, to play me. I dont feel the same about myself anymore. I want my confidence back and social life. I want to be happy again. He stole everything away from me because he was a very miserable & insecure person. Misery loves company, and he sure loved all of my company.