My Forbidden Love Story
Okay, it's about time I told you all my story. I posted this before but I put it under group therapy so there was no way of you knowing it was me. So...
I'm in love with my second cousin. Or, at least, I used to be. I don' think I am anymore which is sort of a relief. He was just always so sweet. And he told me he loved me which I never hear from anyone else in my family. And I felt safe with him which is odd because I usually have my guard up all the time and never relax. And he always knows how to make me laugh and how to make me feel better when I'm upset.
I used to think that there was a chance for us to be together. Just because of some moments we would have. I don't know. Everybody on team sugar who's read my story said that they think I was just sort of desperate to have someone love me and since my second cousin said he loved me I developed the wrong kind of feelings for him. I realize now that that was true and I think if my fellow sugars hadn't helped me realize this I would still be tortured because I thought I loved him.
I think what also helped me get over my cousin was recently I've gotten very close to his girlfriend of four an a half years. She's really nice and she lets me talk to her when I'm feeling upset. Despite my being bisexual I have no attraction to my cousin's girlfriend but when I realized I was receiving the same love and affection from her as from my cousin I reasoned that I must have read my feelings wrong.
The longing for someone to love me. That's what caused my awkward feelings toward my cousin. But now I realize I don't feel that way towards him, not really.
What worries me is that when I'm being completely honest with myself I have to admit that I wouldn't have a single problem if my cousin and I some how ended up together. I might even be pleased. I guess I'm still yearning for a bit more love.
To all of the sugars who have already read this and given me advice I thank you. Thanks to your advice I'm getting through this.