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Saved 8/23/10 to Group Therapy

My boyfriend thinks i dress too sexy


yesterday i went to a movie with my boyfriend.  i was wearing dark wash, straight leg jeans; a black tank top with black sequins on it and gold stilleto sandles.  i didn't do my hair or put on makeup and i wasn't even wearing jewerly.  after the movie, he told me that i looked like a prostitute.  i am a bigger girl, and i have D's.  the tank top showed them but only if you were looking down my shirt, which he did.  i was dressing casual but cute as far as i am concerned.  what do i do???

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Venus1 Venus1 4 years 3 weeks
Best wishes for the future Pixie and I hope you find someone nice to care for you. Years back I was with someone who objected to me going topless at the beach (even though most other girls were), one day he started shouting at me on the beach about it; that was it, it was all over. He begged me to come back but it was too late.
13pixie13 13pixie13 4 years 3 weeks
this is what i have been thinking and feeling...i just was trying to be sure that i wasnt overreacting. thank you everyone
Bailey-Bloom Bailey-Bloom 4 years 3 weeks
What an insult saying you like a prostitute. After reading the description of your body, I would say yes it is sexy what you are wearing because like you said you are a bigger girl on top. Girls who are smaller on top when they wear tank tops would draw much attention and would have a different look. So I can understand if he says you dress too sexy. But saying you look like a hooker is wrong. He needs to apologize.
blooditsnotfunny blooditsnotfunny 4 years 3 weeks
I agree that you should leave him. This seems like the start of a controlling relationship.
Venus1 Venus1 4 years 3 weeks
It is your body. They are your clothes. You are you. It's time to move on. I think this is just the start of an "ownership" thing that is so wrong. Move on now!
jazzytummy jazzytummy 4 years 3 weeks
What do you do? Find another boyfriend.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 4 years 3 weeks
Pixie, This whole problem stems from the fact he has insecurities and he has a lack of self-confidence. The way for you to deal with the problem would be for the two of you to sit down and have a deep, meaningful discussion about all of his examples of a lack of self-confidence. But I do not think he would be willing to do that. Do you? It also sounds like you have self-confidence, and that you have significantly more self-confidence than he does. (If you did not have self-confidence, you would never have been able to wear such clothes in public. I have a female friend who is very lacking in self-confidence, and she always wears dumpy, baggy clothes in public.) Since he is your boyfriend, the two of you really need to sit down and talk about this big difference in your self-confidence vs. his self-confidence.
Skeptic52 Skeptic52 4 years 3 weeks
Um...did you suddenly COMPLETELY change how you dress or something, because I don't know why he's your boyfriend and takes an issue with your wardrobe. He knew what your clothes looked like when he met you and when you were first dating. So, if he didn't like it, he didn't have to ask you to be his girlfriend. He either likes you for you, or he doesn't. Don't let him change who you are! That's ridiculous. I mean, if you went from dressing extremely conservatively to wearing clothes that are 10 sizes too small and all cut out and glittery or something, I could see where he wouldn't like it. But, then he doesn't have the right to call you a name. He should have just talked to you about it to see if that's who you've become, and he should move on if he can't stand it. I mean, I have seen SOME girls who take it wwwaaayyyyy too far, though I greatly envy that confidence. However, HE CHOSE TO DATE YOU! So, it sounds like he's just looking for ways to control you.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 4 years 3 weeks
He insulted you. NOT okay. If you accept this behavior, you'll hear way worse from him. Don't change your dress style. Let him know that he can either compliment your looks or keep his views to himself. Just tell him that and walk away. He will have plenty to say back and he'll try to justify himself. Don't argue with him. You don't need his repentance or assent. Repeat yourself if you have to, and leave him by himself. When he eventually apologizes, accept gracefully and let the issue drop. You may have to go through this process several times before he understands that this is a limit he cannot cross.
misskimberly misskimberly 4 years 3 weeks
That's ridiculous. If you have D's there's no way to hide them but to wear turtlenecks, and it's illogical to expect you to do that. Any shirt is somewhat revealing when you are blessed with a chest - which I'm not! No one else is staring down your shirt and if they are, that's not your fault/responsibility.
13pixie13 13pixie13 4 years 3 weeks
i wanted him to explain why he felt that way. but he refused to explain why he said that. i told him that i completely disagreed with him. i thought i looked cute...
GregS GregS 4 years 3 weeks
Next time you go out with him, wear a nun's habit. Or at least threaten to. Then tell him to lighten up. You're dressing for him and you, not some John. I don't see anything wrong with what you wore.
Rjs-baby-girl Rjs-baby-girl 4 years 3 weeks
Seriously, your bf told you you looked like a prostitute? What did you answer to that? There are better ways of expressing an opinion about your SO's clothing and clearly more respectful ways as well, especially when you love someone and don't want to hurt their feelings. A guy who makes that kind of comment has very low communication skills and looks to me as the controlling/jealous type. I'd be curious of finding out what you answered when he told you that.