My boyfriend wants to spend a weekend with his ex aka 3 is a crowd.
I have an almost perfect relationship with a foreign guy for 18 months now.
In the beginning I wasn't sure he'd stay in my country for good due to his job, but soon the situation got stable and we both feel happy.
Last year I bought a new apartment that needed lots of remodeling work and left my old one, we stayed living together, and so we are since July 2009.
Now that the apartment is almost ready, we talked and agreed about moving in, because it seems like the logical step, we get along really well, travel a lot and almost never fight...almost, there's one ongoing unsolved problem that torments our relationship: his ex.
He says they're just friends, and though I truly believe that he means that, I had the impression that she still loves him.
The 3 of us met in September 2008, when she met me she was almost aggressive to me and made no effort to be pleasing.
I could understand she didn't like the idea of being replaced, but I wasn't aggressive in any way.
A few weeks later he went to work abroad for an entire month, and so when he came back he stayed at my place for 3 days.
At the same time she came to our country to spend a few weeks in the sun, so she stayed at his place during his absence.
Since she's not working for 2 or 3 years due to some kind of chronic disease, she has lots of spare time.
She was offended he didn't meet her, she didn't understand we needed some time together after being apart for so long.
I thought it was only fair as on that same Monday, he was going to go back to their country to spend Christmas with her family(!)
So what's wrong to have those 3 days reserved to me, since I'm his girlfriend?
It was hard to let him go and having him spend Christmas with her family and leaving me behind.
There was nothing I could say or do to stop him from going, and I thought several times of breaking up when he came back...I didn't.
We talked a lot, I forgave him and we agreed that he would give her some time off for her to get used to the idea of him being with me.
After that time, they haven't seen each other or been together, so it's more than one year now.
She didn't like the attitude and feels I'm interfering with their relationship.
He doesn't have many friends and he says she's his best friend and that he wants to meet up with her for a weekend to patch things up.
I'm not invited for that weekend because it will make her feel uncomfortable and they won't have the chance to talk.
I'm uncomfortable with the fact that he thinks it's so important and wants to spend the weekend with her, but mostly I'm hurt because I feel like he's putting her before me...yet again.
I think he needs to prioritize now that he's in a relationship, but am I just being unfair and insecure?
He thinks I'm trying to keep him from a close friend, I don't want to be unfair...what do you think?
P.S. Thanks in advance for taking the time to read and to answer :)