Mommy Dearest
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Preschool Playdate Suggestions
Saved 3/30/11 to Mommy Dearest

Mommy Dearest: Do I Have to Play With Friend's Nanny?

Mommy Dearest –

I'm a SAHM, but plenty of my daughter's friends' have two working parents, which means that they are cared for by nannies and babysitters. Now that my daughter is in preschool, she is asking to play with specific friends, rather than the ones I set her up with, and that often means that it is the nanny and me hanging out while the girls play. While the nannies are certainly nice enough, I find us both to be uncomfortable with the situation. Should I just not schedule play dates with these kids, or is there another solution you might suggest to avoid the awkwardness of the situation.

– Playdate Problem Mommy

Dear Playdate Problem Mommy –

It seems to me that denying your daughter playdates with her friends, just because you feel uncomfortable with their caretakers, isn't very fair to your child. If it is the one-on-one situation that is causing you angst, perhaps you could arrange some group play sessions where other moms and caretakers would be present. Or, suggest getting the kids together in a more public setting – like a playground or park – where the kids can play, but you aren't forced to interact quite as much. If your children are old enough, a drop-off playdate may be the perfect solution for your situation.

– Mommy Dearest

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amandachalynn amandachalynn 5 years 8 weeks
I don't understand why she feels awkward with the nanny. I'm not trying to be an ass or appear enlightened about something, I really don't get it. Can someone clue me in?
Shebelle Shebelle 5 years 8 weeks
I worked as a nanny for a few years and I found the best way to avoid this is indeed just to arrange play dates. The parents and I would alternate. Sometimes I'd be taking care of their kids during a play date (mom could just drop of the kids) and other times I would drop of my kid and I had the afternoon off. To make this fair, make sure you alternate - so neither you nor the nanny feel like you are doing the other persons work and don't make play dates go longer than 3 hours.