Quiz - Stalker | POPSUGAR Social

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Cherlene

Saved 1/13/10 to Inside Out

Quiz - Stalker

I had a situation several years ago where I had broken up with a man. He didn't want to accept it. He stalked me for months. He would leave notes on my gate. He also was in my home one morning when I got home from a friend's house. He was washing the dishes. I asked him "What are you doing here? How did you get in?" He told me that my door was unlocked. In fact, it was not. When I was doing yardwork later that day, I found a broken window in the back of my home - the way he got in. This is a scary subject and is prevalent in our current society.

Therefore, I wanted to generate an informational quiz rather than post a long article about the subject. The first few questions will be to test your knowledge about the subject. The rest will have only 'one' answer so as to give you facts about this type of crime, and stalking is a 'crime'. The end of the quiz will have the rest of the information to the facts given in the quiz.

Be safe!

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Inside Out

D-Lee 3 years 16 weeks

Great quiz with good information i am unfortunately going thru something of this nature right now. not really sure what to do. Thank U for the info. :hug:

Iveenia 3 years 18 weeks

he won't - i went to Karate classes and am not afraid to kick ;) thank you :HUG: Grandpa :)

Grandpa 3 years 18 weeks

That kick should keep him far enough away from you that he can not grab you.

Grandpa 3 years 18 weeks

daughters nat daughter. They are just treasures, and honor students to boot.

Grandpa 3 years 18 weeks

I also have a married son, a divorced son (He has custody of his darling daughter), A married daughter and a single daughter. ;-)

Iveenia 3 years 18 weeks

really? i did not know abt THAT one - that must be the third :ROTFL:

Grandpa 3 years 18 weeks

:rotfl: He is 33, and lives on Long Island.

Iveenia 3 years 18 weeks

Thank you Grandpa - that is brilliant :) and yes - they exist EVERYWHERE - also on the web - i hv two virtual stalkers... :( oh well - such = life...

Cherlene 3 years 18 weeks

My stalker hasn't been around for a year now. But, of course, that doesn't mean it won't start up at some point again. I did take a self-defense class, and it gave me some confidence, but I fear over confidence also. The tips you give, however, are excellent and extremely helpful as the knee joint kick was not explained in my class. As far as a gun, I opted no, as I would be worried that it may get used against me as shooting targets is a far cry from shooting a person. However, I know what you are saying, and the advice given is superb! You are a darling! Do you have a son who is single? LOL! :hug:

Grandpa 3 years 18 weeks

That kick should be your first line of defense of your person, unless you have a conceal carry permit, and learn hot to shoot a handgun, and get lots of practice.

Grandpa 3 years 18 weeks

Chelene, I do not know what state you are in, so i can't comment on the law there, but there has to be some kind of woman's rights or support operation in your area. I would seek there council as to what your legal rights and remedies are. The problem is that the court order will keep most stalkers away, but not all, and in that group there is a tiny group that could be out to harm the victim. Look for a self defense course that is targeted solely for women. If you are going to try to kick an attacker, aim for the knee joint, You hit someone hard enough there and will collapse to the ground, and not get up to run after you. Most people stand favoring one foot (put most of their weight on that foot), That is the knee joint you aim for if possible. This will give you an extra fraction of a second before he can move that leg out of the way. My daughter plays soccer (Very well I might add) so she has excellent foot control. For those of you who are not coordinated that way, Go out and get a solid rubber hand ball, I long needle ( one for sewing sails for example, Now get the highest tensel nylon strength string you can find, thicker the better as long as it will go through the eye of your needle, and finally a hook you can screw into the center the top part of a door jam. Now, take the needle and push it through the middle of that ball, now tie off the end so it will not come loose, maybe tie it to a metal washer or the like. Now hang the ball from the hook at knee level, and tie off the string to something solid. I suggest you have some 20 feet of that string, so don't cut it. Now practice kicking that ball, every day until you have it going like a ping pong ball being hit by a paddle. You start off with the ball being still each time to begin with. The most effective kick is to turn sideways and kick straight out at yout target. In the begginning you will probably have trouble kicking the ball so that it swings free, but over time you will be able to keep on kicking it correctly as it swings back to you. After you have mastered the ball untie the string an raise and lower the ball about a foot, and practice some more. It is all about confidence, if you know that foot will connect as intended , you won't panic kick. The best place to connect is on the side of the joint, next best is the kneecap. Don't warn him or threaten him, just do it when needed, suprise is key here.

Cherlene 3 years 18 weeks

Thank you Grandpa for the 'excellent' contribution to this post. In my case, the police were of no help unfortunately and just 'blew me off' so to speak - giving me the typical advice of 'keep your blinds shut', 'sleep with your lights on' change your front door lock randomly', and they actually told me to change my number. But as the post states, from the Nat'l Inst of Justice, 'not' to. The only way I got rid of my stalker was due to my brother having a 'chat' with him. Monique - is this the man you were talking about a few days ago that is making you cry by his words, etc? You HAVE to find a way to distance yourself SOMEHOW to put an end to this harassment as it is already consuming your life and impeding your activities of daily living. It is not fair to live looking over your shoulder and being afraid to go out or that he may show up, etc. Grandpa, what do we do? And, thank you again, for contributing to a very real issue for many women. As certainly, I believe there are many more victims that have never come forward; therefore, the stats may be significantly lower than they truly are - much like rape.

Monique Marie 3 years 18 weeks

He does not leave messages, I only have a number from which he dials the number from. The police told me that they could do nothing because he lives with his parents and I cannot prove that he is the one calling from their phone number and not someone else.

Grandpa 3 years 18 weeks

This why you keep the recordings of his phone messages, get a few and then go to court accusing him of defying the court order.

Grandpa 3 years 18 weeks

Why can't that "No contact order" include harassing phone calls? I have never heard of one that didn't.

Monique Marie 3 years 18 weeks

I had a male friend who developed a crush on me. While he was spending the night, not in the same room, he went through my stuff in there and stole a few items, like a few pairs of my underwear. After I figured out what he had done, I decided to end the friendship with him not because he had a crush on me but because he went through my personal belongings and I was really uncomfortable around him. Well, I still lived my mom and my friend decided that he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Not only was he over there every day, he constantly called and my mom did nothing about it. As I got older, I have tried to distance myself from him as best as I could but we live in the same area. He was my ex husband's friends, so he showed up at my ouse when my husband was or was not home, called me constantly, etc. If I changed my phone number he would either show up or my ex would give him the number. I did not understand why people did not want to take me seriously about not wanting anything to do with my ex friend, everyone thought it was funny because he had such a huge crush on me and I did not feel the same way. Anywany, after the divorce, he is still trying to talk to me and come over. He did show up once out of the blue and thank god the guy that I am sort of seeing showed up almost right after him (he got off work early) and threated to beat him within an inch of his life if he ever stood on my property again. But this is not stopping the phone calls. He has been going around telling people that he wants to move in with me now because I got divorced. I have gotten a restraining order against him, so he does not come over (at least when I am not home) but the phone calls are constant. So far the officers say there is nothing else they can do because he has not physically hurt me in any way and that they will come out if he is on the property but they cannot do anything about the phone calls. Problem is I cannot change my phone number because I know for a fact he will get it and I am tired of having to change it anyway. I am just tired of going out and having him magically show up at the same place as I do at times. It gets to be really irritating.

Grandpa 3 years 18 weeks

I am a volunteer in my county's sheriff office 2 days/week. I would advise you if you are being stalked ,and the stalker leaves messages on your answering machine, DO NOT ERASE them. When you go to court to apply for your order of protection or "no contact order", it will help you immensely. With caller ID you can screen your calls to only pick up for those you know and want to talk to, the rest let your answering machine screen them, those that you want to talk to just pick up. When your court order is issued it has to be served. In this county the way they word the question to you is in my opinion meant to confuse you. Tell the court or court officer you want the order delivered by a law enforcement officer. If they for some reason do not provide such a service, make sure that whoever serves that order (and not you), call 911 (say non emergency), and ask for a "civil standby". Ask for it when you are down the street from where you plan to serve that court order. A civil standby means a police officer will come to your location, and stand with a person as the court order is issued. Get his name and badge number, on the off chance the stalker wants to claim that the order was never delivered. In reality, a no contact order will not stop the person prepared to physically harm you, but it can stop virtually everyone else.