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Saved 12/26/12 to Group Therapy

Stressed Over Christmas Gift


My boyfriend got me a necklace for Christmas. I guess it's nice and I know it's not cheap, but it's not my taste at all and I don't think I'll ever wear it. He even told me he had the receipt if I didn't like it when he gave it to me, but I didn't use that opportunity to say anything. Now I'm stressing over it. I feel like a spoiled brat, like it's not going to kill me to wear it on occasion. But it breaks my heart that he spent so much on something that will just sit in the box. Is it too late to say something, or do I just suck it up?

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Bubbles12 Bubbles12 1 year 37 weeks
I agree with Henna. This has happened to me with my husband many times and it took some time to help him see his taste and mine are worlds apart. The challenge is how you say it so it's a positive. Here's my advice: "I am so excited to get jewelry from you! I love to show off things you've given me. I know this was expensive and a sacrifice you made to make me happy -- that is so cool. I feel really lucky to have a man who would do this, a lot of women don't. The thing is this style isn't what I normally wear and I'd like to wear a gift from you often to go with my outfits. Can we go back to the jewelry store together, and exchange this for something that is (a little smaller, more vintage, edgy and punk -- whatever it is you like)? How about next Saturday when we're both off and we can get some lunch before and make it a date? -- what about (name restaurant)?" What's key: appreciation for him, make him part of the solution, make pleasing you easy (most women mistake this for passiveness, but that makes us unfortunately passive aggressive because the disappointment goes no where but toward him eventually), and brag a lot to others about what he gave you once you get the jewelry you want. Trust me on this, you'll be *winning* romantic points instead of losing them with him if you handle it this way. He may either learn your taste over time, or just make a trip to the jeweler a romantic event. My hubby has gone with the second. We have a great time together looking, we went out twice looking for something I liked for Christmas this year, had a lot of fun and we both won big time. Congrats on having a jewelry gifting sweetheart!
henna-red henna-red 1 year 37 weeks
Say something, ask for the receipt. He made the offer, in good faith, so he understood that he may not have hit the mark. It's ok to exchange, when the offer has been made...maybe take him with you to choose something else, if he's wanting to learn your style. A lot of store now offer little envelopes to put the receipt in, and attach to the gift for someone to indulge in a guiltfree return....my mom used to do that, particularly with clothing items. Just be sure to thank him for the thought, and for the gift, but if he's not offended, you'd like to exchange it for something you will enjoy wearing and he will enjoy seeing on you....whatever that may be. good luck