Evil Stepmothers Unite!!
35 Followers · 13 Items
Not Technically
Saved 6/15/07 to Evil Stepmothers Unite!!

Not Technically

Spoiled KidsSpoiled Kids

i'm not technically a stepmom. i live w/ my boyfriend & he has a 12 yr old son. you wanna talk about hard. i'm only 14 yrs older than him. i say ONLY bc i'm still (and will always be) into cartoons & i watch nickelodeon more than a lot of kids. haha. it's just the type of tv that entertains me. but whatever. i love the kid. he's just not very well behaved & so spoiled he can't see straight. it's really hard for me to know what i can & cannot say. i don't want him running home to mommy whining that i screamed at him when all i really did was tell him he must say excuse me when he burps or close his mouth when he chews. i was raised to have manners. the child has none. serious. it's rather astounding.

good thing is, he likes me and i do like him. we can talk about shows & he's getting me into graphic novels. and god bless my boyfriend. i was / am able to talk to him about what i consider unsuitable behavior in our home and then we are able to decide together what we should do about it. we have come a LOOOONG way w/ manners. he can actually remember to say excuse me w/o prompting. yay!

overall, it's going well. he's an only child so the spoiled-ness i was expecting to a degree. he does listen to me, sort of, kind of, in a way. we'll get there surely? but any advice would be great.

mdbzmom mdbzmom 8 years 48 weeks
My oldest is 13, brace yourself for the hormone induce attitude problems! I wish somethimes everyone would back off of us and let us make our own way relationship wise. Like I said, my stepkids are full-time and their mother has supervised visitations every other weekend so of course she's on a pedastal and I'm abusive if I ask them to empty the dishwasher!!! Patience and consistency are definate the key to teaching manners. My own 7 year-old was learning please, thank you, ma'am and sir right along with mama and daddy so it's natural for him. My stepkids have never been encouraged to even reply when spoken to and they are very shy. I don't think anyone ever expected anything from them or treated them like they were actually going to be grown up members of society someday. Of course they've NEVER been made to do chores or pick up afte themselves at the mom's house I've had a lot of luck with positive reinforcement and treating them with respect. When they are doing good with listening and responding in conversations I try to keep it fun and on topic they're interested in. With manners I always maintain that it benefits them to give a good impression. We started slow with "let's give it a try" it was months before it was required and they still don't use them if their sulky or mad. Good luck and post anytime. Thanks for joining!
ALSW ALSW 8 years 48 weeks
I wish that I had some advice to give you! But, hey, at least it sounds like things are going really well between the two of you and between you and David. Things would be much more difficult if David didn't step up a little too. And I've always wondered how hard it would be to step into a situation like yours. SOOOO difficult I'm sure! But we're always here to bounce ideas off and complain as well. :)