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Rose Iphone 5 Case
Saved 10/04/09 to Group Therapy

Teenage son saw my pics in the nude..pls help

My teenage son decided to snoop in my cell phone and found naked pictures of me and a very graphic text message.  He confronted me about it in a very angry manner, etc.  Please help.  How to approach this situation and what to say to him? 

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PinkNC PinkNC 6 years 32 weeks
You should NOT have images of yourself like that on your cell phone anyway. Someone else could have seen them, downloaded them, photo shopped them, and then placed them on the Internet. Which would be worse than just your son seeing them. And as for your son, you should get onto him for going through your personal items. It's not his job to be making it his business to search through your cell phone for anything.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years 34 weeks
Well, if it embarrassed you, then maybe it's not something you should really be doing. Just let him know it's not OK to snoop in your phone. That's none his business really. A phone these days is like a diary. Also maybe have a nice heart to heart with him about what's going on in your dating life and sex and be open with him. Most likely he sees you as a mother, not anything else making what he saw very uncomfortable for him.
justanerd1975 justanerd1975 6 years 34 weeks
This would be a good reason for not doing such things. But since your already here, you'll have to reprimand your son for going through your phone and also apologize to him for having to see that.
honey-knows honey-knows 6 years 34 weeks
You didn't really provide enough information about this situation, so I'm going to give you two different responses. #1: If your sexting material was intended for your husband, then I suggest you and your husband sit down with your son and have a serious talk with him about boundaries and privacy, and punish him for his incursion. What happens between a married couple is none of your son's business. #2: If your sexting material was intended for someone who is not your husband....then your situation is exponentially more complicated. Being that your son is a teenager, it's likely he knows all about sexting...meaning he knows what men do with this material (and I'm not talking about the jacking, I'm talking about the in sharing with others). And I'm not talking about sharing it with just a few friends, co-workers, or bar buddies. Now I know you think whomever you sent your sexting material to would never share it with anyone, but then I'm guessing you've never seen super classy websites like "" - where men post the x-rated pictures of their ex-gfs. And that's just one of those kinds of sites. So, I'm assuming your son doesn't want you to be the star of his friends' (or any other stranger's) masturbatory fantasies. He knows that digital pix have a life of their own - as soon as you sent it, you lost control of it. What you intended as maybe a little something wild between you and your intimate friend has the potential to be an embarrassment for you and your son. Then you've got the whole idea that your son has seen you in a context that no son should see his mother in. Yes, even us moms are sexual beings (and we have a right to be), but you did a foolish thing when you created pornography and then failed to keep it under lock and key. (Whether you're married or not, that was a bad decision.) I don't know precisely how to fix this situation (if scenario #2 applies). I'd suggest acknowledging that what you did was ridiculous and disrespectful to both yourself and your son is a good place to start. If you haven't sent your sexting material to anyone, for God's sake - don't. Destroy it, and let your son know you've destroyed it. I wouldn't go into any detail about your sex life, or what caused you to create that material....just that it was a stupid thing to do, and you won't do it again, and you're sorry that you failed to set a good example for him. (After all - how would you feel if your son engaged in this behavior?) Obviously, you need to deal with him accessing your phone without your permission, but I'm afraid you've lost the moral high ground here. You need to figure out how to regain your son's respect, and I think honestly acknowledging your error in judgment is the best way to do that. Good luck.