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Rose Iphone 5 Case
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Saved 1/03/13 to Group Therapy

What Am I Supposed To Do?


Me and my boyfriend have been broken up for a few weeks now. A little time has passed and I dont feel as angry and hurt as I did a few weeks ago. I am still hurt and confused. At this point I dont know what I want to do or what Im supposed to do. I dont know whether to remain friends with him and keep in contact. I feel like in his mind he believes everything is back to normal and Im not supposed to be hurt like nothing happened. He is the one who broke up with me. He told me he already is talking to someone else after he lied and said he wasnt worried about any other women, and that he wanted to focus on himself. That alone makes me feel like he didnt care about me in the first place if you automatically go talking to someone else that quickly. He has made no efforts to make our relationship work. I've done it on my own. He doesnt work for anything. He oversteps my boundaries all the time and goes against my feelings which is emotional abuse. He wants to be my friend and keep contact with me more than I actually want to. I dont mind being friends with him, but Im still very disgusted and angry with him over the stupid decisions he has made. He thought was making the best decision for the both of us. He doesnt make good decisions ever, and when he does they only make sense in his own delusional mind. lol He thinks by telling me these things that he is "keeping it real" with me, but little does he know its actually doing more harm than good. I dont know how I feel about him anymore. He doesnt understand the full extent of how badly he hurt me. He is narcissistic person who doesnt care if he hurts others, and when he does apologize he does it again. I feel like he has no remorse. We were together for 3 years. Feelings like this dont go away that quickly, although I am trying to make them go away because Im tired of the pain. I've felt alone even before we got out of a relationship. I've felt like I was in this relationship by myself. I dont understand the purpose of wanting someone to stay in your life after you broke up with them. He says he cares about me and that he loves me, but Im at the point where I dont believe a word he says to me anymore. Your words and actions never match. I feel like if you love and care about someone that you wouldnt hurt them constantly by making stupid decisions, and putting others before me like Im nothing. He wants he cake and eat it too, he says thats not true but come on its obvious. Im tired of feeling this way all the time. I feel like he doesnt give a damn about me, even when he says he does I dont believe it. I just cant process in my head how can someone that I did so much for and put before myself would do me like this. Im so over these emotionally unavailable men who dont commit or stay consistent. Im still trying to heal from all of this. Why is he being so selfish about his needs and not mine? I just feel like a fool. I dont wish this feeling upon any woman. I want to be with a man who can commit to me, stay loyal and respect the feelings of others. I love him but I dont like the way he treats me.

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GTCB GTCB 1 year 35 weeks
You should not be friends with your ex.
GZO GZO 1 year 35 weeks
"Where should I go from here?" The opposite direction of this guy.
henna-red henna-red 1 year 36 weeks
He's doing what he's doing because, as you say, he is narcissist and everything in his world is all about him, no one else, and will always be only about him. You can't change that, and he doesn't want to change that. The ladies are so right....get this guy out of your life, cut off all contact, and then it's time to do you. To focus on you. To go through the whole process....the grieving, the sad, the mad, the questioning of self..... The only reason he wants to keep you in his life is because you fulfill some kind of need for him....and he doesn't care about your needs. It's time for YOU to care about your needs, take care of yourself, feel all of the feelings, and do all of the things you need to do to nourish yourself and to move, eventually beyond this relationship, and into a happier, healthier relationship, with a man who shows his respect and care for you. Takes work, takes time.....heal girl. And you can't do that by keeping the person who wounds you in your life. good luck, take care
Bubbles12 Bubbles12 1 year 36 weeks
Girl up because a real break up takes a very long time to get over for us. If it sucks, well yes. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or you need to go back to him. We women are subject to terribly bonding hormones when we orgasm with a guy, oxytocin that will make even the biggest dumb-arsed guy seem like someone worth hanging onto. Some guys know that and will get you into bed asap in order to bond you to him so you don't leave even when you find he's a jerk. Hormones, nothing spiritual or mystical. Nature does this to us in order to make babies -- it's all she wants. But own that bitch. Stay away from him and promise yourself a better life with a better man. Look around at every single human being over 30 who went through this and survived and even laugh about 'that guy'. That will be you too. So sorry, no magical answers. The tubs of ice cream, the teary nights, the pangs at seeing him with someone else and everything else, well that's the price of 'amore' with Mr. Wrong.
missmaryb missmaryb 1 year 36 weeks
Re-read your post. I think it answers your own question. Why would you want to have anything to do with someone who doesn't respect you, supposedly emotionally abuses you, lies to you and broke up with you? This sounds like a no-brainer to me. Cut off all contact, completely remove him from your life. Then start really thinking about why you would even consider having a relationship or a friendship with such a person. You need to put yourself at the top of important people in your life and get yourself emotionally healthy (which can't be done if you let him continue to be a part of your life). Good luck.