The Pregnancy Posse
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The Power of Birth Affirmations
Saved 4/01/10 to The Pregnancy Posse

What's With the Comments About How Enormous I Am?

I went to the dentist the other day and the person cleaning my teeth was all excited that I was pregnant. "How far along are you?" she casually asked. "Almost five months I said. She stopped me dead in my tracks and said, "No, are you sure you're not having twins?!" "Yes, I'm sure," I said not amused. Then she called over another hygienist and said, "Guess how far along she is." And the woman said, "Eight months." Eight friggin' months?! WTF. Both of these were women, and both were moms, so what's with the insensitive comments? I'm sure they didn't realize that remarking on how enormous I am was hurtful to an already self-conscious pregnant woman, but come on! Isn't it common knowledge not to make comments about a mom-to-be's girth? That wasn't the only comment. My mother-in-law saw me for the first time and said, "You're huge!" and I also have gotten a few times, "How much weight have you gained?" Now that one tops the cake. Seriously? Did you just ask a pregnant woman how many extra pounds she's carrying around?

I was warned by other pregnant women that I'd receive tons of unsolicited advice from other parents, and would possibly even get my belly rubbed by strangers. But I was not at all prepared for the abundance of blunt observations about my expanding body. Tell me, have you gotten rude or insensitive remarks during your pregnancy? If so, how did you handle it?

angelineore angelineore 3 years 5 weeks
I was so big in both my pregnancies but I'm sure it was a lot of water that did it, I didn't have the 12 pound monsters that everyone kept telling me I would have when they saw me! Just keep slapping on the Tummy Rub and you'll be ok... :-)
susanco susanco 3 years 13 weeks
I did have twins first time around so now at 34 weeks get numerous comments daily - are you sure you arent having another two. I feel enormous, and am enormous, but I could really do without everyone telling me constantly. Its actually making me panic a bit about how big she is going to be in another five weeks. For the most part, I really dont think people intend to be mean, they just want to be involved and excited and they often tell me how much better it is to have big healthy babies, and Im cranky enough so try not to snap at them. But the real classic is the woman who tells me at least every second day at school pick-up, "Oh goodness, that tummy is so big! But you look absolutely fantastic, you're body looks all in proportion now." I really think she is trying to compliment mem by saying that now that I have this huge belly, the rest of me looks slimmer!!!
babyonboard babyonboard 3 years 23 weeks
Such funny stories. I'm 19 weeks at the moment and people have been telling me i'm "showing" since week 8. When all my jeans still fit. I'm sure I'll have more amazing stories in the weeks to come but so far the best one has been "you're looking wide, which means you'll probably have a girl." Wow. Do they really think that's appropriate?
3 years 25 weeks
You look fabulous. Seriously, people are downright stupid and have obviously forgotten that we have hormones during this time. DUH. I've gotten some really nasty things said to me. My favorites were one of my co-workers just came up behind me, pinched my hip and said "Yep - you're totally gaining weight!" And then another said the most rude thing I ever heard. I announced to my close co-workers I was prego and the news spread. That day I was getting a whole bunch of congratulations. Then one d-bag who I barely even so much exchanged a sentence with since he started working with me asked, "So now that your pregnant, what are your thoughts on abortion?" REALLY?!
mikiismum mikiismum 3 years 41 weeks
You are so lucky to even look pregnant! i did everything possible to show off my baby belly, and no one noticed! most people didnt know i was pregnant, or couldnt tell unless i told them. it wasnt till the very last week of my pregnancy that i showed at all. and that week was spent at home in sweats, and running to the hospital. embrace it. love your giant belly *not that i think its that huge, definately not 8 month size* and flaunt it while you have it! some of us never got to have people gawking at our bellies. consider this, you look pregnant, not just fat. :)
lenab lenab 3 years 44 weeks
i am ready to drop any minute. From the UK. I am totally disgusted at comments all of which have come from women. It has ranged from - are you carrying twins? are you carrying triplets? wow your enormous you look like you have eaten all the dohnuts I dread to know what you feel like These are just the ones that i can remember!! I was a previous size 8 uk which is a size 2 in the US. I have gained around 60lbs but knew i would as i was the same in my last pregnancy. However im quite tall and carry it well. Men tell me im glowing and beautiful and women just tell me how fat i am. I have promised myself that im going on a mission once i have lost the weight to insult every single one of those horrible cows who made me feel sad during this pregnancy. Most of which are overweight anyways!!! what a joke!! Im gonna make them feel so fat and ugly they wont wanna come out of their houses !!!
4 years 15 weeks
I am only 11 weeks and I can't wait until I get my "baby bump" you should be proud and show it off!!!!
danakscully64 danakscully64 4 years 18 weeks
I would not be able to control myself, I would have made numerous comments back. :P Especially with the hormones going. Heck, I would probably still bring it up to this day. People are evil and don't think before they talk.
4 years 18 weeks
I'd have to agree with everyone else in that you look awesome and adorable! I got those comments with both of my kids, but when I was prego with #2 it was first wasn't even a year old when I got pregnant so I still had a little baby flab left over and my skin and all was still stretchy. I showed like crazy with him and did get pretty big. I was due two weeks before Mother's Day last year, so I was huge (of course, I was fricking nine months along!!) when our family had Mother's Day dinner. When we were at church that morning, two of my aunts thought it was cool to continuously comment on how huge I was. Then when we were at lunch, one of them said the classic "Are you sure it's not twins?" Well I was kinda used to that by then, but my other aunt chimed in "I don't know. You'd better make sure it's not triplets!"!!!!! Then they both laughed histarically. Needless to say, I was not amused and pretty much a grumpy bitch the rest of the lunch (blame it on hormones, but I was pissed AND hurt). But it all worked out because after I had my son, I worked my butt off to lose the weight and look better now than I did before I got pregnant with my first. And they're still fat...and not pregnant... :)
4 years 18 weeks
What was even worse than people rubbing my belly, offering their names for the baby, asking how much weight I gained and comparing it to their gain, was when, not even 5 hours after I had given birth and was still really stretched out on the inside too, and saggy as an elephant (not overweight, just my 3rd baby and I had health issues)....walking back from the bathroom, a maintence worker in the hospital asked why I was in that wing if I was still pregnant.
4 years 19 weeks
O join the club! I'm a first time Mom and I get assanine comments almost on a daily. From "You're so lucky to be having a boy, they're so much easier" from a woman who isn't a parent to "You're 8 months? Are you eating enough? Do you have an eating problem?" (Mind you I've gained like 45 pounds and still gaining lol). Some people have no filters and no consideration for the pregnant women, I'm learning to take each critcisim/comment with a grain of salt. Now I'm waiting for the comments post pregnancy..."You have a five month old and you still have baby weight?" I swear the first person who says anything I may have to punch in the face, lol.
4 years 19 weeks
for some reason, people feel that it is their duty to comment on a pregnant woman or her newborn whether it is polite or not! when i was pregnant with my first, an older man commented that i should stop eating so much... i was very tiny everywhere except my belly, so you could obviously tell i was pregnant and not just eating too much!! i have been married for 4 years and now pregnant with our second (i am 24 and look very young) and the first thing most people say when they see my belly is "oh! are you married?"... is that rude or what???
babybuff205 babybuff205 4 years 20 weeks
I hated all the comment when i was pregnant with my son James and people saying how huge my belly was ! The only comment i got that i was glowing.
4 years 21 weeks
really, i don't think people actually mean to be insulting. every woman carries her baby differently, and some (especially small framed women) start showing really quickly! i couldn't wait to be pregnant, and then couldn't wait for my "baby bump" to finally show (not till about 24 weeks!) , so i actually took those comments as compliments. :)
spmccarter spmccarter 4 years 22 weeks
You look FABULOUS and beautiful! But, I totally agree with you that a lot of people seem to lack any tact or sensitivity when dealing with pregnant women. I'm 28 weeks along with my 2nd child and my 60 year old neighbor (man) just commented yesterday, "my, you are getting FAT!". Thanks. Another neighbor asks how much I have gained everytime I see her. And, of course, I have had several acquaintances touch my belly and ask if I am having twins. I try not to let those comments get to me. But, it is hard with the pregnancy hormones, etc. I know pregnancy girth is a temporary thing and I think that is why people think it is okay to ask rude questions or make rude comments. But, I also think it is fine to make it known to these people that you do not appreciate it. Hopefully, they learn something and you have just spared their next pregnant victim. Good luck!
4 years 22 weeks
The things women do to each other... There was this one elderly woman who felt the need to make insensitive comments every time I saw her at work. "How far along are you, oh, that is already very large. I cannot recall me being so large", and then turning towards my male colleague whose wife had just given birth and ask for his agreement... He was extraordinarily understanding and a great comfort, even though his wife had really been tiny, up until the end. I felt hurt, because I was shocked at how fast my body was changing, but I was by no means huge, nor am I now (at 40 weeks). But I vowed never to make such comments about other pregnant women. Really, mums should know better!!!
wildsngrny wildsngrny 4 years 22 weeks
Ahhh, the joys of pregnancy... I only had one "rude stranger" incident, and to be honest, I don't recall what the joker said. I was pi$$ed at the time, but let it go soon after (and apparently forgot with time--or maybe it was the pregnancy brain that caused me to forget...). I would like to say to Abby: if you simply "laugh along" with your coworkers, you are showing them that their behavior and comments are acceptable. You don't have to be rude or militant (which will only incite more "oh, she's hormonal" jabs), but I do feel that informing them that their comments are insulting is definitely in order. In fact, the next time a coworker says something insulting, a simple "you know, I find that insulting" may just do the trick. Silence is acceptance, and acceptance propogates more inappropriate behavior.
4 years 22 weeks
I was in LABOR and at the triage area of my hospital's maternity ward and this woman (the mother to a teenage preggo) asks my husband "How many babies are in there?" (I was filling out paper work). My husband calmly responded "One but she is 2 weeks overdue." The woman turns to me and says "MAN YOU ARE HUGE!" I lost it at that point- and screamed "Are you kidding me?!?" And lunged... Luckily there was a couch and my husband between the two of us because she was clearly someone who had been in a few fights (she was missing teeth)... I could not believe the woman's nerve (or my reaction)! Oh and I gained a whopping 40 pounds while pregnant (so I wasn't THAT huge).
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 4 years 22 weeks
yes bellafrank, thats true! i admit i am like that. people would make comments to me and i'd think, gee you're stupid, and later id catch myself making stupid comments to pregnant women, in trying to relate or connect i'd forget my manners and basically say what i saw. however after the baby's out, the option of any comment that isn't complimentary is out too!
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 4 years 22 weeks
people just lack tact.. and it is surprising how much bigger a baby bump looks on a more petite frame!
runningesq runningesq 4 years 22 weeks
I'm 13 weeks along, and if someone asked me how much weight I've gained I'd respond with a number, and say "and how much weight have YOU gained?"
amandachalynn amandachalynn 4 years 22 weeks
I never minded the comments from family, maybe because we always tease each other about everything anyway. My MIL, SIL and I actually have a running fat joke between the 3 of us. We tend to think that stuff is funny. I know for the most part strangers aren't trying to be hurtful, so when they asked me if I was having twins I'd say 'Nope, I'm growing a linebacker' it always got a chuckle. I didn't feel self conscious, though, I'm one of those weird ones who felt sexier! I think you look wonderful, and it's easier to try and laugh things off than to get upset. You're a sexy and fabulous pregnant woman!
4 years 22 weeks
I've posted this before but its priceless. When I was pregnant with my first I was working still. I got a lot of "wow, you're huge" and "are you sure you aren't having twins?" but the weirdest, most disgusting was yet to come. I was in the conference room getting ready for a meeting. I was drinking a milk I had just run out to get. The meeting hadn't started but from across the giant table a man I worked with said as he pointed to the milk "Oh are you taking it in so you can give it out when the baby comes?" There was a sort of hand gesture that went along with the "give it out" part. Yeah- I know. Horrible!
misshk misshk 4 years 22 weeks
You look great for 19 weeks! I am 17 weeks and my belly's just as 'big' as you and I get the same kinda comments, its like, keep your goddamn unwanted comments to yourself. No I am not carrying twins. But I am pregnant, whats your excuse?! :D I don't understand why half of us women are supportive and awesome to eachother and the rest of us are heinous bitches who can't say anything nice.
danakscully64 danakscully64 4 years 22 weeks
^^ Oh my Gosh! I wonder what the heck made her say that. People are just nuts.