a mom-to-be..i don't know what i feel?'
first of all, am not married yet. i am in a wonderfull relation with a great man, i moved in with him last year, and we agreed we'll do all we wantand live all the couples life before having babies - after marriage of course-.
we planned to get married in dec2011, so i felt tired and we went to doctor and he told me am pregnant, i am not on a pill and we were drunk that he ignored the condomn, i felt all my dreams about my studies, around the world tours, parties just vanished and i felt i'll loose the love of my life too, he wasn't ready for this child, so i told him i'll get an abortion, and he just gone crazy, saying that's a life and abortion is a crime, we can't kill a baby just to go around the world, he begged me not to feel bad about it, he'll be a good father and we'll have a great faily, after baby born we'll do everything like a family..i was astonished how he reacted and started getting back home 2 hours earlier to make us dinner- i sleep all the time now-, then he rest his head on my stomach and listens carefully -no sound there yet-, and makes promises of good life, his ' alone time room' which was full of books and gym equipments is getting painted to be the baby room, when my doc. said i have to stop smoking he stopped smoking at house, he stoppeddrinking, his expensive 'i want this car' went to the bottom of the periorities list.
i want the baby, but am afraid to loose 'my girlfriend' status to be ' the mother of my child', i feel older, i love him so much and sometimes when he hugs me i really want to see the baby between us..but i don't want him to blame me in future for wasting any chances he wanted because of my pregnancy, when i tell him this he says 'family first, the baby is my motive now, i trust you, don't take him away from me'
i worked asa baby sitter, as a teacher also, and i got my heart broken when one of my students ' i felt like she's a daughter for me' left the school, that i stopped the teaching career then. i am afraid he has other children and he might not love ours like those of the other marriage...
is that normal?