Is it tacky to have a donation bar at a wedding?

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imweddin

Saved 5/26/10 to Ask Savvy

Is it tacky to have a donation bar at a wedding?

Dear Savvy Bride,
My fiance and I are planning our wedding, and have been feeling very torn about what kind of bar to offer our guests. We will have between 120-160 guests, and our friends and family aren't the type to shy away from having a few cocktails. I want everyone to have a great time, and hope we will party into the night. That said, we can't afford an open bar. A friend suggested a donation bar. He has been to a number of weddings with a donation bar - there's a jar where people can make a donation if they wish (say throw $30 in at the beginning of the night and maybe throw tips in for the bartenders) but technically the bar is open. This seems like a good middle-ground solution to my problem, and would really help cover costs, but is this tacky?
Any advice would be appreciated!
Thank you!

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simplysweetcdn 1 year 6 days

I to am part of the minority! I am getting married in July and in this day of hard to earn cash, I am providing three bottles of wine per table, food, pop, juice and punch. If people want to drink more than what I have provided, than they can pay for it! On that note, I am providing alchohol for my guests, im just putting up a donation jar. If they can put somthing towards what they drink, great! If they cant, well they will have a great evening anyway. As I said, if they want more than I have provided for them, then they can buy it.

danakscully64 3 years 2 weeks

I'm definitely part of the minority, I don't think a cash bar is tacky ("donation" bar... maybe a little). Alcohol is optional, don't feel like you have to compromise on certain things to pay for it. If you can't afford an open bar, don't have one. Remember if you serve beer/wine only, you might be excluding some people from the party. I know a lot of people who only drink mixed drinks, that pretty much gives free booze to some, nothing to others. I think if you really want to pay for some of the alcohol, have a limit on the bar. You can even have it open for an hour or two, then it turns into a cash bar after that. If you do have a time limit, make sure you're setting a cap on the amount. I've heard of a 1 hour bar turning into a 7-10k tab for the couple. As long as the non-alcoholic drinks are free, it's not tacky.

3 years 3 weeks

There are a few things wrong with Savvy Bride's advice: Depending on where you live - you can't have alcohol be self served. No venue would ever allow that. Especially if it's in a public venue. In Ontario, alcohol must be served by people Smart Serve Certified. Someone else made a good point that most guests don't bring cash to a wedding (hopefully they have designated drivers if they aren't cabbing it home), so unless it was put on the invite.. that plan would backfire. Sadly, the wedding reception is NOT about the bride and groom - it's about everyone else. And make no bones about it - people have certain expectations to weddings. Open bar being one of them. Depending on the culture (and hopefully guests who reciprocate on wedding ettiquette), financial gifts will help absorb some of the costs. Seek out professionals (event caterer) in regards to how much you really need to purchase. I recently did a wedding (Im a planner) and the groom's father got 5 cases of sparkling wine. 2.5 cases more than I recommended! Sure, he can return what we didn't use..but there was soo much left over at the end of the night. Time of year and time of day plays a role - if it's a winter wedding you can get away with serving red wines more than chilled drinks. People won't drink as much on a Sunday or even early day wedding. If you do a cocktail reception prior to dinner - have a signature drink passed around/served by staff only. All bar service must stop at 1am, so of course, most people have their bar open til the last possible moment. Why not have last call at 11:45 and close at midnight. That hour will save alot - esp since the longer the bar stays open, the longer guests are there, the longer strike/teardown takes, the more money you are spending on booze, venue and staff. Whew! Sorry for the long note, as wedding season approches..I'm all things weddings. In fact had one 1ast week and another one tomorrow! At the end of the day, there are many ways to cut and stick to a budget. Be clear and firm with your vendors and realistic. You have a vision for your special day, and that's important - but sometimes the things that dont happen according to plan are for the best! My other piece of advice is to HAVE FUN! Don't do what you THINK should be done, do what you WANT. I know I don't drink beer or brown liquors, so (fingers crossed) when I have my own wedding, my bar will be strictly drinks that I like. It will be open, but with my particular parameters. Good luck and congrats!

socalbeachgal 3 years 3 weeks

Agreed it is tacky. I was at a wedding recently that did beer/wine/champagne/signature cocktail. Cut costs somewhere else but if you are going to have a full bar, don't ask your guests to pay for it.

sourcherries 3 years 3 weeks

^ agreed. Definitely tacky.

POPSUGAR Beauty 3 years 3 weeks

I think a donation bar is tacky. I think offering beer/wine is a good way to go, and then if people want other liquor offerings, they can pay at a cash bar. That seems to be a reasonable middle ground.

ShaynaLeah 3 years 3 weeks

It's tacky, sorry --- Try some of the above options to cut costs - or if you have friends who enjoy making beer/wine see how much it would cost to supply them with the ingredients needed for a signature brew for your day (I recently attended a wedding that did this to great effect)

lilkimbo 3 years 3 weeks

I agree with gabi and running. I think having beer and wine only is a great way to cut costs. And, while I'd certainly notice it, I wouldn't find it odd or tacky. I would find a cash bar or a "donation bar" tacky. Frankly, I think that bartenders shouldn't even put tip jars out at weddings and you should tip the bartenders yourself.

runningesq 3 years 3 weeks

Um, if you pay $30 at the beginning of the night for drinks, then no, it's not an open bar. I don't usually even bring cash to weddings. All of gabi's advice is good. You can find ways to cut back (exclude favors, smaller centerpieces, etc.) and have a beer/ wine bar.

gabi29 3 years 3 weeks

I have to disagree with the Savvy Bride. It is never okay to ask your guests to pay for something at a party you are throwing. If you can't afford an open bar, there are several other things you can do to cut costs: 1) invite less people 2) choose a cheaper venue 3) cut back on other areas: the dress, stationery, etc. 4) have a limited open bar for a few hours 5) beer and wine only The reception is a party you are hosting; you wouldn't have a dinner party at your house and expect people to pay for it.